Wednesday, August 24, 2016


In State of the Nation speech, angry President Obama says the Pentagon  intends to stick a  megaton cracker up the clacker of  the  Northern Territory Country Liberal Party  for leasing  Port  Darwin  to  the Chinese .
DARWIN: Fair dinkum , so many  bizarre things have happened during  the  reign  of the  Country Liberal  Government  Territorians   would  hardly raise an  eyebrow if a flying saucer  swooped   out of  the  wide   blue  yonder   and  weirdo aliens abducted  the NT   News   UFO Reporter  and took her away for   the  usual   anal  examination  and   full   Brazilian body  wax and free Olympic rings tattoo .

However, one  recent  mind boggling event came from left field, near Tennant Creek  actually . 

 Two   men   were  caught  cattle duffing -chopping up a cow. As the  story unravelled it caused  blasé  Territorians to  shake    their heads    and wonder  if a  comet  would  hit  the  Legislative Assembly building  any day soon . There has even been  an upsurge in mad laughter and limp  falling  in  drinking  establishments  frequented  by  thirsty   workmen , especially members of the MUA.
The     media    claimed  that  nearby  sitting in a government car was the  now  independent Member for Arnhem, Larisa Lee ; the bloody duffers, who allegedly gave  false names , later   made  an   offer    of   $600 for the spare ribs  and  other  tasty  bits  and  pieces .
Ms Lee, it   was recalled  had   her previous    government  supplied   car  confiscated  in June  after she  allowed an underage  relative  to drive it because she was  allegedly intoxicated.
Adam Giles ,the  kind Chief Minister  ,  however , it   was reported , had  decreed she  could    have  the use of another   official car   for  the duration  of  the election campaign to travel  about her  electorate. Tennant  Creek is  way, way out of  her   electorate .

When the cow-chopping story  broke , the  car   was   hastily  withdrawn . The NT Speaker and  noted snake handler  Kezia Purick, formerly of the CLP but now independent , and  former  ALP Leader  Delia  Lawrie   demanded to   know what special  SBS deal  the  Chief Minister   had   cooked up  with  Lee, a  former CLP member , before giving  her  the  second  chuck wagon .

Lee has been  involved  in several other dramas , one causing a Darwin hotel  room   fire  when heating up a loaf of garlic bread , and in 2014 was convicted of assaulting her teenage niece in a  sock it to me  episode  in Katherine   after discovering  she had  been having  an  affair  with  her  partner.

The  election  takes place  on  Saturday ...  then  what ? Watch this space , along with  the  CIA  and  Chinese  spooks .

FINAL COUNT  : At a Sky News election   forum  in Darwin attended by  100 undecided  voters, 58 indicated they would vote for the ALP  and   12  for the CLP . A snake made it  onto the front page of  the NT  News  and  the paper said the  ALP  deserved to win , however Darwin's so called psychic crocodile  indicated he would like to sink his fangs into Adam Giles  rather than the ALP leader,  Michael   Gunner , an act supposed to  predict  the CLP will  win !!! It is obvious  the croc has lost its mystical  power  and should be turned into some travel   luggage  ASAP.