Wednesday, August 31, 2016


TOWNSVILLE, Planet  Earth : Leaked liberal Party  correspondence indicates the desperate Coalition  plans to  lodge a Court of  Disputed Returns appeal  based on the claim that Martians missed out on a  chance  to vote. The startling correspondence ,  viewed   by  Little Darwin through a keyhole  , reveals  the Liberal  National Party   will  table  this secret photograph of  a giant  flying  saucer  which had been hovering over Townsville for more than a year, its occupants, keen supporters of  the  Cowboys ,  therefore  eligible  to   vote  in  Herbert .  
True blue Catfish
A leading player calling for a  challenge to Cathy O'Toole's  37 vote win  is Senator  Crusty P.  Catfish ,   left  , who  nervously snapped the gleaming large  UFO ,  near the Lavarack Army Barracks ,on  his  Box  Brownie. There are only seventeen  days  left  in which  to  lodge  an   appeal.
With  Prime Minister Malcolm  Turnbull facing the War of the Worlds within  the Coalition , Tories  believe they have nothing to lose by challenging the  Herbert  result  using superior beings  from  another  planet  .

Down  to  earth   private  eye report on  Ewen Jones
A  roaming, latte sipping correspondent yesterday spotted  vanquished  Ewen, back in town after a holiday ,  entering SpecSavers  at  Castletown  shopping  centre .  Is  this  an   indication  that  he  wants  to  see  (boom,boom)  a  challenge  to  the  election  result ?

Re that claim  that  some  Townsville based   soldiers taking part in  an exercise in  South Australia   were not  given  the opportunity  to  vote,  the troops, on May 13, nearly two months before the election ,  were given a  step-by-step  instructional  letter  on  how to vote  if they were going to be away on polling day .