Shocked American PR spokesguy with stuffed Koala explains why giant brewer's yeast company could not possibly make donations to the Liberal Party of Australia because its members are not happy little Vegemites .
CANBERRA: Cash strapped , squabbling and suffering from BO , the Coalition has just received the shock (unconfirmed) news that one of Australia's best known overseas owned companies , Vegemite Inc. , is reluctant to make a donation to the Liberal Party sinking fund which is kept under wraps in the federal Funk Bunker strongroom along with mushrooms. The Vegemite mouthpiece said the wonderful spread was invented in Australia and sales rocketed because of the Happy Little Vege Mites Song, so it is not possible to back a bunch of sad looking , down at the mouth losers like the Coalition , still sobbing after the election . The only happy people in Australia seemed to be the ALP , who might receive a container load of Black Jack delivered COD.
Donations will undoubtedly resume pouring into Liberal coffers when fine Young Liberals like this bunch of happy loons , who recently appeared on the highly regarded , fair and balanced, ABC TV show , Mad As Hell , are elected to parliament .