Shipping Reporter's twisted imagination runs riot after discovering Queensland's longest serving Premier, Joh Bjelke-Petersen, had terminated the family puddy tat .
Guffawing , our waterfront roundsman lurched into the Little Darwin den bearing a copy of the above l994 Reed Book , a reprint , by Lady Flo Bjelke-Petersen , Joh's wife , and a former Senator .
Joh was unkindly nicknamed the Kingaroy Peanut by some , even a Bible-bashing bastard by ALP Prime Minister Gough Whitlam , who was himself axed by the thirsty Governor-General, Sir John Kerr.
The Shipping Reporter had picked up the book while searching the bounding main for oddities and collectables and sensed there would be some unusual content within.
He shouted Eureka! and started to giggle on opening P6 where there was a heading for the use of stale bread . Lady Flo revealed that she and Joh often went to the Bunya Mountains for a holiday at Christmas and stayed at Possum Lodge (not connected with Dame Edna ) .
One year , Joh went home a few days ahead of Flo. When she came home , after a few days , Flo noticed her pet pussy missing , asked hubby if he had seen the cat.
According to the book, read out to the Little Den inmates by the chuckling Shipping Reporter , who added to the text, John admitted he had knocked off the cat because it had been eating birds he fed.
On receipt of this shock reply, the Shipping Reporter suggested Flo would have been justified to use harsh words and dong Joh with a mixing bowl full of ingredients for her famous pumpkin scones.
There surely must have been an angry response from Flo, he insisted . After all, it was her pussy . It would have been great at the time to have been a fly on the wall or a member of the RSPCA with a tape rcorder.
The beaut 146 page book is full of useful tips and recipes ,including how to polish your boots with a banana skin.
The Shipping Reporter seriously stated that there are two stain outlines in the book which could have been made by an animal skin .
.(Kingaroy. Cat. Joh.)
