Concern is growing in Townsville that a plaque marking the official opening of the above Giant's Walk , by the now leader of the cropped Queensland LNP Opposition , David Crisafulli, is being eaten away by the dreaded Billy Bombax disease .
Billy Bombax , a large tree with a friendly human face , represented North Queensland's drive for Sustainability . Unfortunately, he developed an unsightly arboreal disease which resulted in him regularly having a limb amputated .
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| Crook looking Billy. |
Eventually, he was completely reduced to woodchips without media logs reporting the regular painful amputations , the final Texas chainsaw massacre. Before he was reduced to a pile of chips , his human features - eyes , cauliflower ears , protruding nasal hair , Satchmo mouth, lips and teeth were removed .
A Townsville scrapmetal expert , Ned Ferrous , today said the Crisafulli plaque is obviously being eaten away by some mysterious corrosive action, possibly the terrible Billy Bombax armpit devouring disease . Ferrous went on to say the rusting pollie should be medically tested , or checked by Costa of the ABC's Gardening Australia , said to be related to Billy Bombax , to make sure he is not developing or carrying the BB scourge .Ferrous also pointed out that he hoped the rampant corrosion evident in the Giant's Walk does not attack the nearby artistic sculpture of a giant dung beetle , causing it to break loose from its mounting ,the heavy ball of dung run away and bury the Crisafulli plaque.
FOOT AND MOUTH NOTE : The following photograph of Crisafulli should not be mistaken as him being grabbed by the throat by a variant of the Billy Bombax virus from another planet - it is the strange tie he wore when he was a cadet reporter on Ingham's Herbert River Express in 2000 . Looked at on a slide with an electron microscope , the pattern would surely scare the pants off a virologist .
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| Kid Crisafulli . |
Meanwhile, voters in Crisafulli's Broadwater electorate , suddenly feeling itchy under the armpits and the nether regions , are advised to see a bulk billing doctor , call Jim the Gardener and hang onto their vital parts.
