Is there a real doctor in the house ?
In great breaking and spreading news , an outbreak of measles in the former Morrison Government Cabinet has thrown a massive spanner in the election campaign .
It is sincerely hoped Wonder Horse Winx has not been affected by measles as Scomo was parading about the track at the last race like a gelding on caffeine , a jigger and one of those new Tesla lithium batteries / rockets , attracting the attention of nervous stewards .
Former Health Minister Greg Hunt has been blamed for the spotty disaster because he has been mixing with sickly people in hospitals throughout the nation in a desperate attempt to win the votes of patients and the support of the militant Australasian Nurses' Union , headed by Florence Nightingale , which has been running full page advertisements agin the government.
Hunt had been dashing about, above , like the Mad Doctor of Harley Street in recent weeks so much so many people thought he was a qualified quack until the media exposed him as a bed pan panel beater . He started to look sickly and went green about the gills when Julie Banks , fed up with the Liberal bully boys , announced she would stand as an independent against pill price dropping Hunt .
The itchy, feverish ScoMo Cabinet, also suffering from delusions about Bill Shorten banning weekend outings in the family hotrod , will this afternoon be flown to Christmas Island at great cost and be placed in quarantine for the remainder of the election campaign . Doctors say this state of affairs will ease the nation's level of mental stress but ruin the Christmas Island tourist industry . In a fine Christian gesture , former PM Malcolm Turnbull and Dr Phelps have sent the infectious lepers a get well after the landslide loss card .
