Thursday, February 8, 2018

CELEBRITY STRIPTEASE ARTIST TREAT FOR NORTH QUEENSLAND

LONDON : It  has just been confirmed  that athletic  Gypsy Rose Lee  will perform in Townsville  and  on  Magnetic Island  during  the  Commonwealth Games  in April. In an exclusive  interview , Stripsy Gypsy   said  she is excited  about  getting  her   gear off  Down Under , especially on  the island , which  has  an  international  record  for   strip   teasing  tourists  with  see  through  scrim  signs  .  Unfortunately ,  Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall ,  was  not  available  to  accompany  Ms.  Lee  to  North  Queensland  to apologise for Prince Harry's cardboard  cut out  being  too  busy  to  visit  the  Queen  City of  the North .
 
Suffering  from  periodic  bouts  of  gout, but still flexible, thanks be to horse liniment and Tiger Balm,    Gypsy  revealed  that the  Townsville City Council and Townsville  Enterprise   have   arranged  a  tickertape  parade  through the city  after  she   arrives  at   the   airport .  
 On  Magnetic    Island she will  drape herself  in the  above  tattered  and  torn remains  of the  Welcome to Magnetic  Island  scrim and  strip for the gawking  oncoming  ferry passengers eager to catch their first glimpse of  Townsville's Jewel in the Crown .  
 
 
Maritime  Safety  Queensland  has  firmly  instructed  Sealink    to warn  passengers, especially  German and Irish backpackers,  not  to  rush  to one  side  of  a vessel  as  it  enters   the  steamy safe harbour  to see  Gypsy seductively  cavorting  about  like  one  of  the Rhineland   sirens  ,  luring  seafarers   to doom.

Meanwhile , there  are strong rumours that a Melbourne  troublemaker , probably  a latte drinker ,  who  lives in the electorate of  Batman  , subject of a by-election,  is  trying  to sabotage  the island's strip show . On a visit to the island he was shocked to see  the  scrim being shredded  and sent  emails off to various authorities, including the Townsville City Council   alerting them to the situation . 
 
Nothing happened, the  local  media , as usual , out to a long lunch . Astounded that such a situation could exist for months , he fired off  another  email and received  a  reply and a reference number  , stating he  would be  provided  a  reply  within -20 WORKING  DAYS !!!
 
Ah Townsville , beautiful  one day-slumbering  like Sleeping Beauty most of  the remainder of  the year , even  longer   in  a  Leap Year ,  the populace repeatedly  subjected  to  the  same  old  media  spin  drier  treatment .