Channel 9 has kindly offered to make its election worm available for the debate of the century clash between well-known Melbourne TV porridge celebrity chef , Whopper Chopper , and radio ham, Digit Dick. The loser of the life or death debate will be dropped in Port Phillip Bay in a gunny sack by the only fully paid up member of the Painters and Dockers .
Smart money is being placed on Chopper as he reduced Digit Dick to silence the previous time they met. The convenor on that occasion found it inconvenient to continue after Chopper hit Digit Dick below the belt with a side saddle of instant porridge the moment the bell went for round one. Onlookers claimed Dick went to water and zipped out of the studio without being paid a penny for his thoughts.
Digit Dick , inoculated with a rusty His Master’s Voice gramophone needle when he was a baby, has been in heavy training for the great debate . Luckily, his tonsils were undamaged when he was recently run over by a convoy of phantom trucks which left him brain dead and quacking like a Patagonian trotting duck during the mating season.
Doctors , unfortunately, performed a miracle operation on his gregarious grey matter, a wonderful piece of what- the -butler- saw keyhole surgery carried out through his noisy plumbing . Drs have warned him never to stand next to a man prepared to sell his whatnot as a Big Mack truck pulling a load of oily French fries could run over them while the two amigos engage in prolonged , energetic, no- nonsense haggling.
The Samba dancing Channel 9 worm has delayed opening a noodle bar franchise in Darwin so that he can concentrate on the looming debate which will have a bigger impact on the nation than the running of the Melbourne Cup.
