FEAR & LAUGHING ON THE ALP TRAIL

WARNING : This is a café latte/ grilled cheese and salami influenced account by a gonzo journalist who assisted gutsy Alison Anderson set up her trestle in the Smith Street Mall today to explain her walkout from the ALP and to garner what action the public want her to take . Before the trestle and the brand new plastic white chairs were put in place outside Westpac , a group of Caucasian people enthusiastically welcomed her.

Then , amazingly, a smiling Westpac official with a name tag , crisp white shirt, tie, dark daks ,neat hairdo , emerged and asked that the trestle be moved further away so that people did not get the impression that Anderson’s actions were in anyway endorsed by the bank.

Heaven forbid the public gaining the impression that banks take sides in political battles. During the Depression of the l930s when NSW Labor premier Jack Lang stood up for the people of Australia against British bond holders still wanting their pound of flesh , the Bank of NSW ( now Westpac) was one of the forelock tugging banks which conspired against him and the masses.

Having eased the fears of Westpac, Alison again set up camp and a steady stream of people converged on her, the majority supporting her action of resigning from the ALP government and then the party. Those willing to record their support for her included some surprising business heads , former employees of the chief minister’s office , longtime residents with extensive networks. Eventually , a gaggle of media people,mostly cameramen , were attracted like possums and fruit bats round a papaw tree with ripe fruit.


Mostly unobserved by the media, a familiar figure in the shape of Health Minister Kon Vatskalis trotted into view , seemingly unaware or pretending to be so of Ms Anderson , her Australian flag and well wishers. He waited in line to use the ATM and the media’s attention had to be drawn to the fact that here was an unplanned photo opportunity not arranged by spin doctors. ANOTHER ALP MINISTER WITHDRAWS ! Imagine the palpitations and gasps in the Wedding Cake this heading would cause .

At one stage it seemed every man ,his dog and pet cane toad were being snapped or interviewed by the media. This scruffy looking Little Darwin scribe had his mug shot taken and asked for his name. It was no use saying Rupert Murdoch , he is much younger than I. Later , in company with a former newspaper proprietor , with petite footsies not designed for his bulk, now a proud owner of a bespoke plant nursery, we were approached by a woman with what looked like a repulsive , dead Tasmanian Devil on her shoulder. It turned out to be a furry black microphone ,and she introduced herself, Melinda James from the ABC . Were we Territorians ?

How anybody could possibly form the opinion we were idle rich from down south ( spit) was hard to fathom. We talked her out of putting us on the new ABC TV show Dance Your ALP Ass Off . As she walked away we remarked that James looked pale, different to her screen image , suntanned, increasingly coiffured a la Letitia . My gardening buddy , whose eyesight is better than mine, wondered if we should inform Melinda that her fly was open.

Then who should appear in the Mall but the well known S-bend expert, the Chief Minister,Paul Henderson, a sickly smile on his face , a hand inserted in his back pocket. Was he about to whip out a gat like they do in downtown Chicago and give Alison a lead sandwich during the lunch break or jab her with a lethal KGB radioactive isotope ?


No, he was just passing through, nobody waving, calling his name or breaking out in a spontaneous outburst of Solidarity Forever. Little Darwin will carry more reports from the Mall , including details of the stirring messages of support she has received , media scuttlebutt and an in depth explanation of why she decided to walk the long walk and not talk the long- play , empty spin talk .