Under pressure from the Country Liberals, the NT Government has buckled and rushed in two highly skilled and respected miracle workers to save the Territory from real life events. King Canute, complete with several changes of underwear, floaties and tinea cream for his toes , has been flown to the Barkly Highway washaway to order the floodwaters to retreat so that the roadway can be repaired and urgently needed supplies of catfood can get through from Brisbane to Darwin and Mafeking. The CLP had been demanding that King Canute be called on the hotline, but the government refused to dial- a - prayer. Then the CLP angry ant brigade declared Kon Vatskalis should sprint down to the Barkly like the marathon runner of ancient Greece , Phidippides, and stick his finger in the dyke . He was in charge of the fish and chips shop at the time, so could notmake the heroic dash. Finally , Delia Lawrie was sent with her bucket and spade ,and it it became evident from TV footage that no earthling could have prevented the road from being washed way. Hence the S.O.S.
Interviewed by Little Darwin, King Canute said he will be available for fancy dress balls, bar mitzvahs and late night Mitchell Street Morris dancing. He would also love to take part in parties held by the East Point rock sitters where his rare powers in hydraulics control and cocktail mixing would prevent revellers from getting overly wet . The King said it was a shame he was not called in earlier because he could have prevented the highway from being washed away . Forcing back massive floodwaters in mud cake mixture soil was a simple task, he said.
His travelling companion-"We are just good friends ”- the Fairy Godmother, with her famous magic wand, is available as back up in the event that King Canute has an accident and falls into the water like a well known person in the Goon Show. Meanwhile, she is busily turning mice into rissoles so that Darwin residents have something to eat , and is also using Cinderella’s loincloth to polish Dawn Lawrie’s jewellery which has gone a bit dull due to the high humidity.
