Former Australian PM, John Howard , has been placed on the hit list of the bumbling squad which has attempted to assassinate Cuban leader Fidel Castro more times than Donald Bradman and Matthew Hayden made runs.
Mr Howard is the target of the month because he insisted on squatting in the White House grannie flat instead of allowing President Elect Barack Obama and family to move in and roast marshmallows. Little Darwin has been informed that the brutal executioners have drawn up 628 sure ways to rub out our beloved former leader during the next seven days.
Top of the list is a gift box of Bill Clinton exploding imitation Cuban cigars. If that fails, there is the old shrinking Akubra hatband trick which will suddenly apply the pressure of a randy octopus to his brain , causing it, and his eyebrows , to pop. Other fiendish methods include arranging for a statue of Amanda Twentystone to fall on him, presenting him with a rabies infected pet rodent and , most hideously, casting him adrift in a crowded , leaking refugee boat off the North Australian coast .
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Mr Howard is the target of the month because he insisted on squatting in the White House grannie flat instead of allowing President Elect Barack Obama and family to move in and roast marshmallows. Little Darwin has been informed that the brutal executioners have drawn up 628 sure ways to rub out our beloved former leader during the next seven days.
Top of the list is a gift box of Bill Clinton exploding imitation Cuban cigars. If that fails, there is the old shrinking Akubra hatband trick which will suddenly apply the pressure of a randy octopus to his brain , causing it, and his eyebrows , to pop. Other fiendish methods include arranging for a statue of Amanda Twentystone to fall on him, presenting him with a rabies infected pet rodent and , most hideously, casting him adrift in a crowded , leaking refugee boat off the North Australian coast .
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