One of Darwin’s most gifted reporters was last night abducted by cruel aliens in a polka dot UFO which caused fear and panic when it circled the city . The horrified hack –Bob Boofhead- is employed at the highly respected Little Darwin weekly,The Cullen Bay Cock-Up , three times winner of the Walking Dead Award for Beat Ups.
Boofhead was drinking with a visiting Swedish journalist , Jonathan Holmes , when the fiendish looking creatures swooped down out of the sky and grabbed him. The pea green aliens are believed to be from the planet Tabloid Crud , in the toxic Chinese Milky Way cluster, pretty close to the Sun.
Still shaking from the terrible experience , Holmes , wearing a Nordic helmet for protection in the Mitchell Street taxi area, gave a graphic account of the monstrous event. "That swine Boofhead , like many thirsty Darwin scribes, had been freeloading on me all night , and was about to actually shout me a small beer when the UFO landed and ruined everything. Boofhead quickly pocketed his money, screamed , struggled violently and then collapsed, his furry tongue in cheek. I hope the aliens give him the full painful rectum examination with a wire brush when they got him back to base."
Boofhead was drinking with a visiting Swedish journalist , Jonathan Holmes , when the fiendish looking creatures swooped down out of the sky and grabbed him. The pea green aliens are believed to be from the planet Tabloid Crud , in the toxic Chinese Milky Way cluster, pretty close to the Sun.
Still shaking from the terrible experience , Holmes , wearing a Nordic helmet for protection in the Mitchell Street taxi area, gave a graphic account of the monstrous event. "That swine Boofhead , like many thirsty Darwin scribes, had been freeloading on me all night , and was about to actually shout me a small beer when the UFO landed and ruined everything. Boofhead quickly pocketed his money, screamed , struggled violently and then collapsed, his furry tongue in cheek. I hope the aliens give him the full painful rectum examination with a wire brush when they got him back to base."
This is the fifth abduction of a reporter in two months. At this rate , the standard of reporting is tipped to improve dramatically . In the event that this blessed situation arises, UFOs will be invited to join the peak hour traffic congestion on Tiger Brennan Drive . Our civic fathers will present the aliens with the keys to the city and introduce them to lovely local girls who think many of the local men are far out yobboes with two heads and four bloodshot eyes.
