To atone for his smirking life in politics , former treasurer Peter Costello has had a Damascene conversion and will become a missionary in the strife- torn Congo . In a blinding flash of light during a post-mortem in his Higgins electorate office, Costello heard Kerry Packer calling him from Cloud Nine . Packer told him to go forth and help the unwashed heathens in third world countries who have little food , are constantly threatened by disease and war and, worst of all, deprived of neighbourhood casinos with wall to wall ATMs . Having been a long - haired Social Democrat in his younger days, the man born to be king of the Coalition immediately vowed to don sack cloth and join his brother Tim helping the needy .
Many Africans took fright on hearing the news , jumped into leaky boats and headed to Australia , seeking refuge. In Africa Costello will lead a humble life, live in a mud hut and dine on imported Tasmanian possum and the occasional drop of cooking sherry . Container loads of his unsold memoirs will be fed to starving termites who will willingly convert to Christianity .
Many Africans took fright on hearing the news , jumped into leaky boats and headed to Australia , seeking refuge. In Africa Costello will lead a humble life, live in a mud hut and dine on imported Tasmanian possum and the occasional drop of cooking sherry . Container loads of his unsold memoirs will be fed to starving termites who will willingly convert to Christianity .
