Kings Cross Whisper Non-Fake Scoop .
In a bid to speed up Australia being armed to the teeth with nuclear weapons , Santa Claus has kindly offered to help select aspiring Aussie youngsters wanting to take on $20,000 a year university scholarship courses in atomic science .
Year 12 students keen to sign up for the course to service the nuclear submarines that will call Down Under via the AUKUS agreements with the United Kingdom and America , can let Santa know by placing a slice of Yellow Cake and a jug of Bundy rum for him near the chimney ,close to the empty , glowing stockings .
It has been estimated that by the time Australia gets eight nuclear subs , jovial old Santa will be in a beaut New Zealand retirement village , unable to recall his name , allergic to plum puddings , his sled replaced by an EV, the elves receiving the old age pension .
