In a brilliant move to improve its tattered , pugnacious image , the Liberal Party has hired the CFMEU to teach its male members how to behave like gentlemen and scholars behind closed doors. A mauler inside the Liberal Party Funk Bunker, Peter Terminator , admitted the party is on the nose with the public over bullying , threats , standover tactics .
Drastic action, he said , has to be taken -late at night , up a dark alley , to sort out the complaints of female members and other shrinking violets reluctant to join the Tory tag team . Tag team coach , Gorgeous "Knuckles" George , reckons step over toe holds and Indian deathlocks are really enjoyed by female pollies . However, he does admit that he got carried away once and ripped the arms off a promising Liberal female politician , Aunty Jack , when she refused to add her name to a petition calling for a spill and reintroduction of Footy Show biffing in Question Time , claiming she could not hold a biro in her boxing glove .
Drastic action, he said , has to be taken -late at night , up a dark alley , to sort out the complaints of female members and other shrinking violets reluctant to join the Tory tag team . Tag team coach , Gorgeous "Knuckles" George , reckons step over toe holds and Indian deathlocks are really enjoyed by female pollies . However, he does admit that he got carried away once and ripped the arms off a promising Liberal female politician , Aunty Jack , when she refused to add her name to a petition calling for a spill and reintroduction of Footy Show biffing in Question Time , claiming she could not hold a biro in her boxing glove .
After a long recovery period in Western Australia , where she was fitted with artificial limbs and 100 sets of pearl earrings , Aunty Jack had gone on to replace Peta Credlin on SkyNews, he added, when she left for a much needed transplant at the Buderim rough end of the Big Pineapple and Fake Ginger Beer Hospital in Queensland .
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Jacked off Aunty , before being amputated at a party punch up , with typical Queensland Young Liberals, who want to sell off the ABC to speed up the dumbing down of Australia.
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