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| Hairy Tory killer Bill |
CANBERRA : Our award winning political reporter Argus Tuft today exclusively reveals that Opposition head man Bill Shorten has undergone a secret Shane Warne hair transplant (right ) , which makes him look like a fresh new generation leader, younger and more dynamic than the thinly thatched true blue standover brigade .
After brushing dandruff from his new crop of luxuriant locks , Shorten said the Coalition front bench was clearly showing signs of having been scalped in the party room skirmishes where knives and tomahawks flashed. He produced a photo of nude nut Peter Dutton from a highly respected ABC show to make his point .
He went on to say that the new treasurer, Josh Frydenberg , was most certainly suffering from depilation , maybe even piles because of reported tight lips and frequent grimaces when asked about the barber shop massacre of Malcolm Turnbull on a bad hair day, below, when he fell victim to Redskins and rednecks on the warpath .
In the case of the new PM , ScoMo , his tonsorial appearance made him look like a Japanese silkie chook in a hari kari pot boiler flat battery farm at Wagga Wagga , said Shorten .
In the case of the new PM , ScoMo , his tonsorial appearance made him look like a Japanese silkie chook in a hari kari pot boiler flat battery farm at Wagga Wagga , said Shorten .
This was proof that the sky was falling in on the Coalition barnyard pullets and that more cock of the walks would be scalped at the next election, sent to the thin bin and SkyNews , converted into featherdusters and repulsive , pre-loved merkins .
