An ugly gargoyle from Notre Dame Cathedral has sought sanctuary on Magnetic Island after a perilous voyage to Australia in a leaky bateau . The exhausted gargoyle, which has a lumpy profile similar to that of the venerated low man on the Liberal Party totem pole , the late Sir Robert " Pig Iron Bob" Menzies , with bushy eyebrows, was wearing a double breasted suit with a bottle of cognac in each pocket when he reached North Queensland's equivalent of Devil's Island . He tottered ashore and headed to the island's bespoke French café , Le Paradis , where he ordered a croissant with Vegemite and a double serving of vegetarian lasagne .
There he told our shipping scribe the reason why he fled the famous Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris ." Between the noisy horde of tourists who invade the cathedral each day and Quasimodo snoring and breaking wind all night , I got very little sleep ," the gargoyle , named Victor , moaned. The other gargoyle on the gothic pile , Hugo , had been driven mad , started to crumble under the strain , had been taken away by a cruel stone mason under the pretence he was going to have ear plugs inserted , but poor Hugo was pulverised and turned into kitty litter .
