S(h)ipping Reporter Word Exclusive
In a closely guarded , secret location in Townsville , above , an instant lend-lease missile base is being rapidly constructed to shower the bellicose North Korean leader , King Kong Jong -Ill, with ICBMs carrying thousands of miniaturised rough ends of Queensland Golden Circle pineapples.
These warheads will be delivered just as blubbery King Kong throws a leg over a poor Shetland pony, his vitals exposed to attack , at the start of a daily gallop imitating John Wayne in the epic western movie , True Boofhead.
Townsville reporters , as usual , are not aware of the frenzied waterfront activity because they do not venture down near the sea, have not received a Pentagon media hand out and are too busy watching social media .
However, our waterfront roundsman , the only one north of Wagga Wagga , was tipped off about the hush-hush missile base while s(h)ipping soda in Molly Malone's Irish bar .
The chairman of the Disaster Management Group , Cairns Regional Council, Terry James, has been reported as saying a nuclear attack on the area has never been considered. In a worst case scenario , the council would ask Defence for instructions on how to react . The Cairns paper ran the strange heading: City in range but safe... Cairns low as North Korea missile target .
In the case of the Townsville City Council , calling for numerous shovel ready projects to get off the ground , a strategically placed nuke which caused water to flow freely from the Burdekin without cost to ratepayers would be regarded as a positive act , which the Murdoch Townsville Bulletin would no doubt applaud .
The chairman of the Disaster Management Group , Cairns Regional Council, Terry James, has been reported as saying a nuclear attack on the area has never been considered. In a worst case scenario , the council would ask Defence for instructions on how to react . The Cairns paper ran the strange heading: City in range but safe... Cairns low as North Korea missile target .
In the case of the Townsville City Council , calling for numerous shovel ready projects to get off the ground , a strategically placed nuke which caused water to flow freely from the Burdekin without cost to ratepayers would be regarded as a positive act , which the Murdoch Townsville Bulletin would no doubt applaud .
