A parable for stupid senior citizens .
On two occasions women doctors have firmly told me that men over 60
should not ascend
ladders , clamber onto roofs , climb trees . Both said emergency wards of
hospitals were filled with men PM
Bob Hawke would have described as silly
old buggers. When I described one of my symptoms as light headedness at times
when firmly on the ground , sitting in front of the idiot box, a doctor , 10 years ago, rolled her eyes ,when I said I had been up on the roof
cleaning out the gutters, sweeping , taking photographs .
Since then , I must admit , I have climbed to great (dangerous ) heights
, as it were , in Darwin and North
Queensland, and I am past three score and 10 . In my latest alpine adventure , just before Christmas, I felt certain that one of the pesky possums had jammed itself in
the guttering
downpipe. While borrowing the neighbour’s ladder , a woman said a possum had died in her
downpipe years ago and stank to the high heavens .
Not wanting Santa to be put
off by such a stench , I decided to ignore medical advice and clamber up into the gods. Before lift off, I psyched myself to
be ultra careful and tackle the task
scientifically. Importantly, I told myself to only walk on the
iron sheets over the verandah , not the brittle plastic ones. A broom , bucket and secateurs
were put up on the roof , ready for action .
Then I buckled on a pair of sandals the German wildlife carer known as
the Queen of the Jungle had given me to wear about the garden . She had hardly
worn them and they had been in
a shed for
years . No sign of a jammed possum
was found ; the gutters
were cleared out ; fallen nuts swept
off with gusto. Then decided to cut
back as many palm fronds near the roof as possible in what proved to be a vain bid to stop the possums
from their noisy , nightly jaunts .
Had to lean out to reach and wrestle with some fronds- but did not plummet to earth. Finished, paused to admire the view ,
walked back across the roof to the back verandah and
decided to make one more check to see that a skinny possum was
not jammed in the elbow.
Put foot on a plastic sheet- crunch- flung myself forward onto metal sheeting to prevent falling through. Okay . Check again that there is no possum , then climb down ladder. Walk down the side of the
house , and sandals felt strange
... soles had become detached and were hanging by the ankle straps only . Had this happened
while leaning out over the roof , Houston , the Eagle could have landed
in spectacular fashion .
