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LIGHTS, CAMERA , ELECTION : To avoid playing the leading painful role in the horror movie ,The Ides of March, Premier Newman announces early election to media actors.
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In its desperate bid to become a box office hit instead of a floperoo , the Newman Government is using a Puberty Blues movie theme in its
television advertisements .
These depict the LNP team as a muscular surf boat crew stroking into the
breakers and then riding
the bombora back to shore to the cheers of spunky chicks and bloated
carpetbaggers stomping
about on the beach at
Surfers Paradise. With so many tubby candidates
who look as if they would have trouble pulling on their boots
let alone pulling on a oar , it
is surely a bit
deceptive presenting the LNP as
healthy life savers .
In these clips the Australian
Labor Party is depicted as an inept surf boat crew in a Perfect Storm which broadsides and is swamped, like a perished and punctured rubber
ducky with a rusty
squeaker .
Premier Newman invoked
the power of celluloid when he strolled about a lifeless movie set , possibly
being prepared for The Curse
of the Mummies , offering millions of bucks to overseas movie makers and endless buckets of tasteless popcorn . This caused a
highly successful
Aussie filmstar who lives in a castle to shout , “Get stuffed !” Not the
response
the LNP wants from
voters.
In the case of the Palmer United Party ( PUP) , where Clive suddenly disappeared, it is
working on a powerful campaign movie, soon to be screened , which will be a mixture of Jurassic Park and Lassie Can’t Come Home to the Election Launch because
she’s with the Vet , plus
a Saturday matinee Jaffas and scone treat , namely Son of Joh.
NEXT : ALP springs punchy Rocky l , Rocky ll , Rocky lll assault in Townsville and journalists forget to ask obvious questions .
