SAVE THE SPEAKER PLEA

Psychiatrists  warn   the new  Speaker of  the House  of  Representatives could  be   reduced to  this unfortunate, shell- shocked state  after  a  few  months  in  the  hot seat and  suggest  she  be  replaced  by  a younger politician from the  Looks  Could  Kill  Department .       

 The  Commonwealth  Parliamentary  Society for  the  Protection  of  Speakers  is alarmed  that  veteran  polly , Bronwyn  Bishop , has been  given  the  onerous job of   refereeing  the House of  Representatives   tag  wrestling   matches .  CPSPS  spokesman , Ned  Nong ,  today  said  Ms Bishop , not a  Steggle's  spring  chicken, would   be   put   under  incredible  stress  and  strain  trying to  stop  honourable members   from   gouging  out  each  other’s eyes ,  applying  the  painful rugby tackle  squirrel  grip,  putting  in  the   Italian  slipper , engaging in  unseemly Greco-Roman  holds on  the  lower  torso  and  stomping on  each other  like  Gorgeous George , the American wrestler  with  a pink cape who  sprayed the  ring with  perfume  and  had  his  arse  kicked  at King's  Cross  by  a   notorious  member of  the  Sydney Vice Squad .     

Nong  firmly stated  he  believed  that  PM Abbott   should  replace  Bronwyn  Bishop  with  the younger   Foreign Minister, Julie Bishop , whose  famous   death  ray   stare,  which  has  terrorised  garden  gnomes  and  leprechauns and  melted  polar  ice caps ,  might  just  keep   parliament  house  bikie   brawls   under  control.  He  went  on  to  say  that as  the   PM  was  said  to  be  the  political  love child  of  Bronwyn  Bishop and  John  Howard,  it  was  no  way  to   treat   your   mammy   by    throwing   her    into  the  lions  den   as  the  Speaker .