TONY ABBOTT HORMONE SHOCK

CANBERRA : Exceptionally high levels of the female hormone estrogen have been found in a blood sample taken from Opposition Leader Tony Abbott after he won yet another gruelling 10-day bicycle race through the Bogong Moth Circuit . Experts say such a massively high reading means that Mr Abbott cannot possibly be called a misogynist , that he has an almost overpowering female side, evidenced by the fact that he crochets his own budgie smugglers . Another expert advanced the surprising proposition that Mr Abbott, because of his pointy ears , is not the love   child of  Bronwyn and  John  but  Dr  Spock and a nubile Dalek, which explains why he rushes about shouting ,“Exterminate ! Exterminate ! ” Meanwhile, the media gallery is buzzing with the news that Annabel Crabb’s ABC TV series about pollies home alone will reveal that Mr Abbott has a large autographed poster of super-charged cyclist Lance Armstrong above his bed, a Kardashian handbag filled with soggy tea bags  on a  side table and a  flagon of toenail polish in True Blue Liberal enamel.