( After boasting that the Coalition is on the verge of a momentous election victory – equivalent to conquering Mount Everest- Tony Abbott hastily adopted the underdog and missionary position , saying he was just at the base camp, a long way from the summit. )
KATHMANDU : Worried authorities here are attempting to stop an Australian fitness freak from attempting to conquer Mount Everest on a bicycle. It is feared that his gizonkas will be frozen to the bicycle seat as he pedals madly towards the summit ,whistling Ave Maria . Boiling water will then have to be used to prevent the gizonkas , normally covered in Bondi blue-green algae , from shattering into pieces like ice cubes.
A Tibetan monk told Little Darwin that the foolhardy attempt should be aborted because the cyclist will frighten the vast herds of timid yaks which will stampede, plunge down ravines,cause widespread starvation and the yak butter market to crash.
There has already been a terrible event at the base camp. One of the cyclist’s support party , a comely wench , known as Bronnie , was carried off by a near-sighted yeti .The unfortunate yeti was heard howling in horror once he got a good squizz at her, after brushing the hair out of his eyes. Still suffering post traumatic shock, the trembling yeti is in an induced coma.
An Australian mining company digging up half of Mongolia has kindly offered to build a three lane highway from the base camp to the top of the dangerous mountain to help the cyclist succeed.
Acting on advice from a South Australian mentor, the cyclist, Antoine Crap -Injected has had his elephantine ears removed to streamline his body for the relentless upward thrust to the top of the world. Local SP bookie, Edmund Hillary , will not take any bets on Crap-Injected because he reckons he has been given performance enhancing racing camel dags from Central Australia .
A Tibetan monk told Little Darwin that the foolhardy attempt should be aborted because the cyclist will frighten the vast herds of timid yaks which will stampede, plunge down ravines,cause widespread starvation and the yak butter market to crash.
There has already been a terrible event at the base camp. One of the cyclist’s support party , a comely wench , known as Bronnie , was carried off by a near-sighted yeti .The unfortunate yeti was heard howling in horror once he got a good squizz at her, after brushing the hair out of his eyes. Still suffering post traumatic shock, the trembling yeti is in an induced coma.
An Australian mining company digging up half of Mongolia has kindly offered to build a three lane highway from the base camp to the top of the dangerous mountain to help the cyclist succeed.
Acting on advice from a South Australian mentor, the cyclist, Antoine Crap -Injected has had his elephantine ears removed to streamline his body for the relentless upward thrust to the top of the world. Local SP bookie, Edmund Hillary , will not take any bets on Crap-Injected because he reckons he has been given performance enhancing racing camel dags from Central Australia .
