LONDON : The Queen has ordered that the editor of the Northern Territory News be lodged in the dreaded Tower of London for allowing her photograph to be run in the newspaper with details for lodging advertisements over the Queen’s birthday weekend.
It is just not the done thing to use the Queen in common advertisements . While it is okay for a gin company to boast that , by royal appointment, it is a supplier of its product to the Queen Mother, it is the worst kind of lese-majesty to run a photograph of the monach in a tiara drawing attention to classified advertisements. Furthermore, the outrageous advertisement was on a page of public notices dealing with bingo nights, abandoned cars and a footie club called The Bulldogs , which sounds suspiciously British, not Orstralian .
A Buckingham Palace spokesman told Little Darwin that Her Majesty , Queen Elizabeth 11 , affectionately called Lizzie Two Stroke by staff , has ordered a team of Beefeaters be flown to Darwin to arrest the offending editor. If Jetstar has not cancelled the Singapore connection, the Beefeaters could arrive on Friday . Getting through airport safety checks with their razor sharp halberds which are long handled weapons with a head consisting of an axe and a spear could be a problem.
The editor would almost certainly be hung, drawn and quartered , the spokesman chuckled. Australia’s most avid supporter of the monarchy, Professor Fred Flintstone, recently made a member of the Order of the Garter and Rusty Suspender, was outraged when Little Darwin informed him of the newspaper’s dastardly offence. “The editor is a cad , a bounder , a bally idiot , probably a Garibaldi-ite and a despicable republican,” Professor Flintstone shouted, losing his normal academic cool. There was no way in the world that media magnate Rupert Murdoch would ever get a knighthood now that one of his papers turned the Queen into a commoner flogging advertising space, Flintstone thundered. He volunteered to personally flog the editor in the Smith Street Mall stocks , finishing off the initial punishment and entertainment with a fireworks display arranged by Guy Fawkes .
In the interests of balanced reporting, Little Darwin attempted to contact the newspaper’s editor to get his side of the story , but we were told that he is hiding in a WW11 underground bunker disguised as a chain smoking Princess Margaret . The Duchess of Pork told us , for a small fee, she could arrange a meeting with Princes Margaret and a cute financial advisor .
It is just not the done thing to use the Queen in common advertisements . While it is okay for a gin company to boast that , by royal appointment, it is a supplier of its product to the Queen Mother, it is the worst kind of lese-majesty to run a photograph of the monach in a tiara drawing attention to classified advertisements. Furthermore, the outrageous advertisement was on a page of public notices dealing with bingo nights, abandoned cars and a footie club called The Bulldogs , which sounds suspiciously British, not Orstralian .
A Buckingham Palace spokesman told Little Darwin that Her Majesty , Queen Elizabeth 11 , affectionately called Lizzie Two Stroke by staff , has ordered a team of Beefeaters be flown to Darwin to arrest the offending editor. If Jetstar has not cancelled the Singapore connection, the Beefeaters could arrive on Friday . Getting through airport safety checks with their razor sharp halberds which are long handled weapons with a head consisting of an axe and a spear could be a problem.
The editor would almost certainly be hung, drawn and quartered , the spokesman chuckled. Australia’s most avid supporter of the monarchy, Professor Fred Flintstone, recently made a member of the Order of the Garter and Rusty Suspender, was outraged when Little Darwin informed him of the newspaper’s dastardly offence. “The editor is a cad , a bounder , a bally idiot , probably a Garibaldi-ite and a despicable republican,” Professor Flintstone shouted, losing his normal academic cool. There was no way in the world that media magnate Rupert Murdoch would ever get a knighthood now that one of his papers turned the Queen into a commoner flogging advertising space, Flintstone thundered. He volunteered to personally flog the editor in the Smith Street Mall stocks , finishing off the initial punishment and entertainment with a fireworks display arranged by Guy Fawkes .
In the interests of balanced reporting, Little Darwin attempted to contact the newspaper’s editor to get his side of the story , but we were told that he is hiding in a WW11 underground bunker disguised as a chain smoking Princess Margaret . The Duchess of Pork told us , for a small fee, she could arrange a meeting with Princes Margaret and a cute financial advisor .
