If it is okay for the tabloid NT News to hire a clairvoyant, it is only fitting that Darwin’s most respected broadsheet , the Cullen Bay Cock Up , winner of five Walkley Awards for dodgy journalism, should engage a crystal ball gazer as part of the vicious circulation war .
Known as Madam Magic Balls, the highly regarded seer has an international reputation for predicting future events. For example, she told countless dateless and desperate women that a tall , dark man , with the IQ of a warthog , and a crazed soccer fan , would come into their lves . As a result , nunneries throughout Europe now have house full signs .
In an exclusive interview with Little Darwin , we crossed Madam Balls’s palm with an IOU and a bottle of gin under plain wrapper for a spooky view into the future . Her ball clouded over after the first swig and she had to apply Mr Sheen before she could get an unobstructed line of sight.
According to her , she could see a muscle- bound boofhead , surrounded by corporate lifestyle gnomes , headed for a crash. Another person could clearly be seen injecting large amounts of equine growth hormone , strangely jumping in and out of boxes , and braying like an ass or Mr Ed the talking horse.
