We at Little Darwin have informed Prime Minister Julia Gillard how to make her political honeymoon longer and more satisfying than she could possibly imagine in her wildest fantasy. In a FOR YOUR EYES ONLY email , delivered under plain wrapper by giggling Green Senator , Sarah Hanson-Young, an expert on first time earth moving events, we revealed an important fact of life regarding the Australian media : it has a collective shoe fetish, as Madame Lash knows only too well.
We strongly recommended the PM discard her old fashioned Welsh winkle picker shoes for clunky Doc Martens , which are regarded as really sexy by the weirdo Aussie media pack.
As proof of our claim , we cited the case of another South Australian female politician, Natasha Whatshername , who was the media flavour of the month for years when she wore Doc Martens to Canberra . The parliamentary gallery journos wildly tipped she would become PM, the first female Astronaut and Queen of the Bushing Festival, during which people suffering from tinia , some reporters, remove their Don Dunstan boots and crush grapes with their unwashed feet in the Rundle Mall .
Taking our footwear advice, we guarantee the PM will mesmerise the media for at least a year , giving Ms Gillard one of the longest political honeymoons in the Guinness Book of Records, just ahead of demure Mae West who had more Roman sandals than Imelda Marcos .
Meanwhile, we understand Fran Kelly , of the ABC , is frantically working on a TV series exposing how Ms Gillard cobbled together support to become Australia’s first female PM . Background music throughout the powerful doco will be Nancy Sinatra’s pulsating hit song about her boots with which she threatened to walk all over Mr Banana Split.
