HOLLYWOOD : We can reveal that Australia’s first saint, Mother Mary MacKillop, has a great sense of humour and as a result she has graciously agreed to provide us with secret beauty tips picked up during her lengthy process of BEATIFICATION, wrongly called BEAUTIFICATION by bumbling Aussie TV reporters and newsreaders. See previous Little Darwin scoop - NIP & TUCK FOR OUR SAINTED AUNT.
Her wise and helpful words are designed not only to turn modern young women into stunning beauties like Venus de Milo and Vegemite, but how to grab 15 minutes of fame in a world still dominated by geriatric male clergy prancing about in gold lame vestments. Mother Mary broke off from her busy round of signing lucrative endorsement contracts with leading cosmetic firms and fashion houses to speak to Little Darwin.
“God be with you, my favourite , blessed bloggers ,” the kind lady said when she graced us with her miraculous presence , daintily dabbing behind her ears some of Saint Mary’s soon to be released parfum de cloisters .
She said girls wanting to cure teenage acne and prevent the attention of penniless Catholic boyfriends should apply soon to be launched , Saint Mary’s Miraculous Mud Packs , made from Adelaide’s smelly Torrens River sediment , Popeye Poop, and boiled down scraps from the City of Churches odorous pie floaters.
Her wise and helpful words are designed not only to turn modern young women into stunning beauties like Venus de Milo and Vegemite, but how to grab 15 minutes of fame in a world still dominated by geriatric male clergy prancing about in gold lame vestments. Mother Mary broke off from her busy round of signing lucrative endorsement contracts with leading cosmetic firms and fashion houses to speak to Little Darwin.
“God be with you, my favourite , blessed bloggers ,” the kind lady said when she graced us with her miraculous presence , daintily dabbing behind her ears some of Saint Mary’s soon to be released parfum de cloisters .
She said girls wanting to cure teenage acne and prevent the attention of penniless Catholic boyfriends should apply soon to be launched , Saint Mary’s Miraculous Mud Packs , made from Adelaide’s smelly Torrens River sediment , Popeye Poop, and boiled down scraps from the City of Churches odorous pie floaters.
There are unconfirmed reports that the Gillette razor company is keen to sign up Mother Mary for a zillion bucks as their star salesman had a moving experience with a pet varmint called Monica in a caddy shack and now wears a false Santa beard and dark glasses while driving about in a damaged go-cart.
