While 2010 is the Year of the Tiger in the Chinese zodiac, further sovereign debt alarums like Dubai, the growing Afghanistan quagmire and any wilting of the green shoots of economic recovery in America could turn it into a real rat of a year . Therefore Little Darwin’s resident soothsayer has gazed into the entrails of a Palmerston Dump squashed rodent and come up with astonishing predictions for the NT.
On the political front, he sees further ructions, resignations and retirements, with one or two independents emerging from the raving ruck. Mysterious ,unsigned stickers stating I LOVE CHRIS will appear in Mindil Beach long grass dunnies. A minister will attend Alliance Francais classes so that his on camera and voice comments can be understood by the long suffering public who fear they are going deaf or,worse still, have to buy a new TV because the sound has gone on the blink.
At long last, several King Rats , incompetently running major community services, will take a bait and disappear from the scrumptious sewer scene. On the wink wink,nudge nudge front, some prominent participants will develop conjunctivitis and need police and lawyers to help them cross the road on the way to court.
There are surprising predictions for the media. A new dynamic online publication will hit cyberspace and rattle the media laboratory treadmill . Several prominent media people will either leave the Territory voluntarily or be chased by men in white coats and lodged in a padded cell . The Northern Territory’s most respected newspaper, the Cullen Bay Cock Up, edited by Walkley Award winning journo, Rank Distorter , currently undergoing treatment in the Betty Ford Clinic in the US of A , will be bought by Rupert Murdoch,resulting in a new conservative broadsheet, The Northern Territory Cock Up .
As a result of the popularity of the Xmas ice skating rink in Alice Springs, the annual Henley- On - Todd Regatta will be abandoned in favour of the exhilarating sport of Olympic snow sled racing . In a radical change to the other great Alice event, the Camel Cup, all participating animals will be shot once they cross the finish line and turned into freebie hamburgers, with French fries, to prevent them from reducing Uluru to cracker dust and spitting at tourists.
Somehow, our impressive soothsayer is able to predict that Little Darwin staff will be bombarded with el cheapo Viagra deals , which we presume are package offers for a holiday resort near romantic Niagra Falls.
SPOOKY FOOTNOTE: Since the above exclusive was posted we have received many amazingly cheap offers- up to 80 percent off - for holidays in beautiful Viagra , which makes us feel the other predictions will come to pass .
On the political front, he sees further ructions, resignations and retirements, with one or two independents emerging from the raving ruck. Mysterious ,unsigned stickers stating I LOVE CHRIS will appear in Mindil Beach long grass dunnies. A minister will attend Alliance Francais classes so that his on camera and voice comments can be understood by the long suffering public who fear they are going deaf or,worse still, have to buy a new TV because the sound has gone on the blink.
At long last, several King Rats , incompetently running major community services, will take a bait and disappear from the scrumptious sewer scene. On the wink wink,nudge nudge front, some prominent participants will develop conjunctivitis and need police and lawyers to help them cross the road on the way to court.
There are surprising predictions for the media. A new dynamic online publication will hit cyberspace and rattle the media laboratory treadmill . Several prominent media people will either leave the Territory voluntarily or be chased by men in white coats and lodged in a padded cell . The Northern Territory’s most respected newspaper, the Cullen Bay Cock Up, edited by Walkley Award winning journo, Rank Distorter , currently undergoing treatment in the Betty Ford Clinic in the US of A , will be bought by Rupert Murdoch,resulting in a new conservative broadsheet, The Northern Territory Cock Up .
As a result of the popularity of the Xmas ice skating rink in Alice Springs, the annual Henley- On - Todd Regatta will be abandoned in favour of the exhilarating sport of Olympic snow sled racing . In a radical change to the other great Alice event, the Camel Cup, all participating animals will be shot once they cross the finish line and turned into freebie hamburgers, with French fries, to prevent them from reducing Uluru to cracker dust and spitting at tourists.
Somehow, our impressive soothsayer is able to predict that Little Darwin staff will be bombarded with el cheapo Viagra deals , which we presume are package offers for a holiday resort near romantic Niagra Falls.
SPOOKY FOOTNOTE: Since the above exclusive was posted we have received many amazingly cheap offers- up to 80 percent off - for holidays in beautiful Viagra , which makes us feel the other predictions will come to pass .
