Further secret information has been collected indicating Defence Minister Joel Fitzgibbon is a Manchurian candidate groomed to help the Chinese take over Australia . Little Darwin has discovered that as a young boy Fitzgibbon was a champion Chinese Checkers player. At school he belonged to a gang called the Yellow Peril which terrorised kids by administering Chinese burns.
His obsession with things Chinese is revealed in a study of his school reports in which he is repeatedly described by teachers as a “ dim sim” with an uncertain future, probably ending up as a rickshaw salesman or a politician.
During puberty, weird tufts of hair sprouted from his face and ears and a barber nicknamed him Dr Fu Manchu with teenage acne. On hearing this , the angry young man slipped bamboo slivers under the barber’s fingernails and gave him a Bruce Lee kick in the gizonkas.
Early in his working life Fitzgibbon attended many Chinese banquets and was so adept with chopsticks he inspired the movie Edward Scissorfingers. The most damning piece of evidence that Fitzgibbon is a Chinese stooge is the fact that he wears a wok on his head when taking part in never ending war games with troops in Canberra . This is no ordinary wok- it is autographed by most of the Iron Chef contestants. Bomber Beazley, who still sleeps in a camouflaged NATO helmet , is reportedly envious of Fitzgibbon’s headgear.
ADF spies protecting the nation from the forces of darkness have shown Little Darwin 1000 photographs of him eating a springroll - proof positive that he is undermining the Aussie way of life so that the Chinese will buy increasing amounts of our pig iron and then bombard us with fiendish cheap whitegoods, shovels, axes , nails , lawnmowers and CO2 .
Top Secret files shown to Little Darwin by Deep Throat, before he was mugged in the Casuarina shopping centre carpark , revealed that Fitzgibbon’s personal staff are named Monkey, Trikitapa and Pigsy –characters in the subversive l6th century Chinese novel Journey to the West !!!!! Minister Fitzgibbon must be dismissed and , like Harold Holt, put on a slow boat to China.
His obsession with things Chinese is revealed in a study of his school reports in which he is repeatedly described by teachers as a “ dim sim” with an uncertain future, probably ending up as a rickshaw salesman or a politician.
During puberty, weird tufts of hair sprouted from his face and ears and a barber nicknamed him Dr Fu Manchu with teenage acne. On hearing this , the angry young man slipped bamboo slivers under the barber’s fingernails and gave him a Bruce Lee kick in the gizonkas.
Early in his working life Fitzgibbon attended many Chinese banquets and was so adept with chopsticks he inspired the movie Edward Scissorfingers. The most damning piece of evidence that Fitzgibbon is a Chinese stooge is the fact that he wears a wok on his head when taking part in never ending war games with troops in Canberra . This is no ordinary wok- it is autographed by most of the Iron Chef contestants. Bomber Beazley, who still sleeps in a camouflaged NATO helmet , is reportedly envious of Fitzgibbon’s headgear.
ADF spies protecting the nation from the forces of darkness have shown Little Darwin 1000 photographs of him eating a springroll - proof positive that he is undermining the Aussie way of life so that the Chinese will buy increasing amounts of our pig iron and then bombard us with fiendish cheap whitegoods, shovels, axes , nails , lawnmowers and CO2 .
Top Secret files shown to Little Darwin by Deep Throat, before he was mugged in the Casuarina shopping centre carpark , revealed that Fitzgibbon’s personal staff are named Monkey, Trikitapa and Pigsy –characters in the subversive l6th century Chinese novel Journey to the West !!!!! Minister Fitzgibbon must be dismissed and , like Harold Holt, put on a slow boat to China.
