Mysterious writing near the former main jetty serving Magnetic Island has given rise to the suspicion that China is planning to turn the tourist spot into a naval base like Vanuatu. According to an anonymous Border Watch spokesman , the inscription is a secret Chinese code spelling out the message : Foo and friends were here , and will be back with chopsticks when the pubs open !
"Foo definitely was here," the stern eyed Border Watcher, wearing sunglasses , added . This indicated Magnetic Island , off Townsville , was about to be developed like the sand islands in the South China Sea into a Chinese fortress . He pointed out that fake currency had recently been found in Townsville on which was Chinese writing .
The growing interference of China and Russia in the South Pacific, he continued , was most concerning . In the case of the evil Russians, they had been slipping growing amounts of the clumsy drug into water coolers in the Townsville City Council and Coalition funk bunkers in Canberra , Sydney and Brisbane , causing them to continuously make stupid decisions .
Meanwhile , down at Horseshoe Bay , naturally not reported by the Townsville media, gangs posing as Townsville City Council workers are moving sand about just like the Chinese are doing on numerous sandspits in the South China Sea , enabling landing craft to rush in huge supplies of cheap springrolls to capture the island tucker market for Chinese interests from restaurants backed by French, Italian and other superpowers.
