Monday, December 19, 2016

CIA REPORT REVEALS RUSSIA MEDDLING IN AUSTRALIA

WASHINGTON : In shock breaking news , the  CIA  firmly states that Russia  has been  actively  involved  in  an evil,  extensive plan to  destabilise  Australian governments. Part of the dastardly plot involves putting  large  doses of  colourless   clumsy drug  in  government  office  watercoolers throughout  the  land ,  which  causes  people in  high places  to make stupid decisions .
 
This has  already resulted  in  the Country Liberal Party  in the Northern Territory  leasing the Port of Darwin to the Chinese  for  99 years ; plans for the new  ASIO headquarters in  Canberra falling into the hands of the Chinese ; former PM Tony Abbott  knighting   the  Duke of  Edinburgh ; plans for Australia's  French  submarines  being  served up  in  an  Indian  takeaway ;  the nightfoundered  Prime Minister  Malcolm Turnbull  losing  his   thread  on  just about everything , waving his  arms about like  a  pea  and   thimble trickster , all the time talking  about innovation,  jobs  , increasingly  looking and  sounding   like  a  dowfart .
Reds  under  Hanson's Czar-sized  bed ?
Bags of  Russian roubles  were  secretly donated to  the election campaign of  Pauline Hanson's  One  Potion Party  and   the  True Grit  Party    to help  reduce  Australia  to a  babbling , shooting iron-toting  nation  of   Balkan  states , according  to  the  spooks .    

The highly detailed  CIA  report  says President  Putin  personally  ordered the Moscow  Dirty Tricks  Department   to give   Australia the works  after he returned in a filthy mood  after attended the  useless  G20 conference   in Brisbane, during   which  he was  pissed on  by a  smelly  Koala  and  the Rasputin  of  Warringah  threatened  to  tear  off  his   freshly  starched  dicky.  
 
President  elect Donald  Trump reacted to  the release of the startling   CIA report  by tweeting that he is not concerned  as  Austria  is a  tiny European  country  where  men  get  about  in  leather  pants, slap each other on the back   and  do  girly  dances .