You could almost hear the gnashing and grinding of teeth , the screams of dismay by Townsville mugwumps as far away as Yorkys Knob over the fact that powerful overseas leaders attending the APEC conference in Papua New Guinea are staying in Cairns, not the so called Queen City of the North .
However , to overcome the moaning and dismay , our well connected S(h)ipping Reporter, the only one north of Lake Taupo, NZ, arranged for some extremely famous people to come to Townsville during the Port Moresby conference to get even with Cairns .
Despite the demands of the torrid Brexit negotiations , UK PM Theresa May , dropped everything and sailed into Townsville in the borrowed royal yacht , renamed British Chief , above , for the morale building visit. She also stunned onlookers in the nightclub precinct by giving an energetic demonstration of Morris Dancing , draped in the EU flag .
Also welcomed enthusiastically at the port by a city council and port authority organised cheer squad , complete with a cut out of Prince Harry in uniform , was Kiwi /Australian actor Russell Crowe, in his personal luxury yacht , Gladiator, a barge moored alongside into which broken telephones were thrown to be recycled .
Another flash port arrival made the US Vice President's personal jet look dull by comparison . It was the bulk carrier Dogan , below, the name not to be mistaken for the fast attack craft of the Turkish Navy . It is not clear if the human figures on the bow indicate VIP shipboard toilet facilities , the number of fishermen run down or the fact that there are Chinese/ Russian /Australian hackers in the crow's nest tuned into the Port Moresby talks.
