Thursday, November 15, 2018

QUEEN IN BRUSH WITH SCARY SNAKE ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND ; DEFINITELY NOT FAKE NEWS

The Queen of the  Jungle  knew   something was  amiss  when  a  stray  bird , an Olive-backed Oriole ,  she  had  taken  in  would  not come down to  be fed  in  an aviary . Normally ,  it  eagerly  flew down   at  tucker time , but  it  remained  in  a far corner and  did not respond  to the dinner gong .  Looking  about , the Queen  was  startled to see  a  snake peering  at  her  from  under a  rafter.

As the  royal person  had sustained  assorted injuries  during her  life in Germany  and  Australia , she was in no  condition   to  wrestle  with  the  serpent . She  rang  another wildlife  carer , versed  in  Mexican cooking ,    who had   only recently  recovered    from  assorted   fractures , so while she  could handle a  mess of  tacos , she was in  no  shape  to tackle  a  snake.
 
 
 Another   friend  , a " snake lady" , was  called  in  and the three amigos  then moved in  on  the  reptile :  a  nicely  marked  carpet   snake  of  about  5ft .

The said snake lady ,  who  had  once been  a barista  in a  café   named    after   Gilligan's  Island ,  with  bamboo  fittings ,  got  up  a  ladder , engaged  the  snake .  Naturally , the  snake   did not want  to  come  out  from  under the   roof . In  the  adrenalin   flowing  struggle , the   brave  snake  handler   announced  she  was  experiencing  vertigo .

Concerned onlookers wondered if  they should call  the  fire brigade  and  the  SES   for  help ,  or  join hands  and try and  catch  her  if   Newton's Law  applied  and  she  plummeted to earth  like   an over-ripe  Granny Smith   apple,  clutching  the  intruder  from  the Garden of Eden to her throat , replicating   a dramatic scene   from opera  .   Quickly  dragging  out  the Queen's  mattress   off   her  bed ,  allowing  a  prize winning ,  non-injurious   limp  fall   was   also  considered . 

 However , the  stoic  snake woman , displaying   true  British  pluck , regained her  equilibrium ,  pulled  the wriggling  snake   out  from  under the  beam , popped  it  into a   bag  ;   later   it was   released  into  the  wild . A smaller   snake  was   found  at  the  Queen's  residence  a few months ago , which makes the  palace  seem  like  a   snakepit  in  need of  a  defensive   moat to keep out invaders .  
 
No sooner  had this story been posted than the Queen of the Jungle rang to say come quickly  with the camera   because  another  snake had  turned up . Barely dressed ,  this blogger tottered  down to her  residence   and was  shown a  patch of  blood next to a round water container   where the  snake, below,  had been found , apparently deposited by  a Kookaburra  who had  devoured part of the reptile .
The snake, covered in ants , was  placed  in  a  frangipani tree in a residence owned by  absent Canberra  residents   for  a passing Kookaburra to finish off  and  hopefully  leave  Curlew  chicks  alone .