CANBERRA: The Coalition Funk Bunker Dirty Tricks Department has called in a team of elocution experts to train candidates how to pronounce Opposition Leader Bill Shorten's name as if it is Satan , which will scare the pants off voters .
This name distortion was used by America's disastrous president George Dubya Bush when he spat out the name of Iraqi president Saddam Hussein before launching the second Gulf War on totally spurious intelligence about weapons of mass destruction , leading to the current ghastly situations in the Middle East and the growing chaos in Europe.
Whether it was deliberate , on advice from his dingbat inner circle of advisers about whom Colin Powell spoke disparagingly , or just a case of Bush suffering a speech impediment , it came out as SATAN Hussein. Several pundits noticed the president's tactic of turning Saddam into the Devil hisself .
Lordy, Lordy . Iraq was invaded , Saddam was tracked down and hanged in 2006 . Now Iraq is a basket case , billions of dollars having been plundered by truly evil corrupt politicians, officials and companies, huge amounts of American money paid for training large numbers of Iraqi troops which turned out to be "paper phantoms " disappearing into the overseas accounts of crooks . Along comes a clash with ISIL and the Iraqi army fled , adding to the blood soaked imbroglio in the region .
And an increasing number of Australian troops are placed in danger on the ground training the Iraqi troops, in a situation where the populace has invaded its own parliament because of the corruption and incompetence .
And an increasing number of Australian troops are placed in danger on the ground training the Iraqi troops, in a situation where the populace has invaded its own parliament because of the corruption and incompetence .
Our Canberra political reporter, Argus Tuft, says the Coalition's elocution squad will teach conservatives to give Bill Shorten the full Hades treatment when they say his name in public : BEELZEBUB SATAN .
The elocution classes have started just as Liberal Queensland senator James McGrath , assistant to PM Turnbull and campaign director of the Country Liberal Party 2012 election in the Northern Territory , said the four scariest words in the English language are Prime Minister Bill Shorten , a jibe echoed by the Queensland University Liberal National Club when calling for volunteers to help Malcolm Turnbull in Brisbane .
It will be remembered that offensive Queensland Liberal National Party young operatives and supporters planned to mock the aged , grand former ALP PM Gough Whitlam with a birthday party.
A Facebook entry for the planned event said Whitlam had been Australia's worst PM, was "old and nearly dead", had been sacked and was "shit."
Among the reported planned attendees were Phillip Pease, who had done volunteer and some paid work for Opposition front bencher Peter Dutton ( now a Turnbull minister who recently made the extreme statement that a Shorten government would cause the economy to crash ), and Zach Davis-Hancock, who was a part-time employee of Liberal backbencher Dr Andrew Laming, involved in Northern Territory eye and other health matters in the past, who played a leading part in the subsequent first spill move against his own PM , Tony Abbott .
Unfortunately, the Painters and Dockers and the CFMEU were attending deportment and social graces classes run by Mrs Bucket so were unable to call on those Queensland twerps who made the outrageous statements about a truly great Australian.
Barnaby Joyce was one of those who apologised for this outrage.
