Friday, February 19, 2016

EXCLUSIVE : ISLAND CELEBRITY TURNS PIRATE AND RUM RUNNER

After  a  lengthy period  cruising  the  Great  Barrier  Reef seeking  ships carrying   barrels  of ready  mixed    Margaritas to  raid   ,  Larry the  cussing   Lorikeet  and   freelance  pirate  has  come ashore   at  Magnetic Island and  is once  more  receiving R and R  at the residence of  the  Queen of  the Jungle .
 
To  show his appreciation for  looking after  his  assorted  teddy bears while he was  away on  the bounding  main ,   he   presented  the  Queen  with  the above  bottle of  his  own  Captain  Larry special  rum , soon to be released on the unsuspecting,  thirsty Queensland   market ,  and a painted  coconut  portrait of  himself   leading   the  life  of  Captain Jack  Sparrow and  Jimmy Buffett .

Both the rum  label, showing him in a  pirate  pose,  and   portrait were  painted  by artist  Jenn  Payne,  dubbed Australia's Number One Parrot Head by Buffett  , who is taught the  finer  points of  sailing    and   navigation  by Captain Larry  aboard the 43ft  catamaran Nyeki  in  hostile  waters, dodging  Customs and Border Security vessels .   Since  his arrival back on  the island,  he has received  numerous offers  to  endorse products, including low-cal  mayonnaise,  and   leading pirate  roles in  Hollywood  and  Bollywood movies.
 
Bollywood is out  because of  an injury he suffered in Cyclone Larry  which  makes him  walk  like  Caribbean   pirate   Captain   Morgan  with  a touch of gout  and would limit his involvement in all  those  energetic  Indian  dance routines.  Captain Larry rum  is expected to  scuttle  Captain Morgan's  spiced  rum  which  contains vanilla , cinnamon and  cardamom .

Captain Larry  refuses to reveal the ingredients in his  potent  drop ; he does, however, like yoghurt  with a splash of  coffee and a  side serving of Vita Brits . He  also  finds   German  toffee  tasty and , with an eye for a  well turned ankle,  whistles madly  every  time  he sees  Chancellor  Angela  Merkel  on  television.