After slipping on a banana skin and banging his head on a life -size , souvenir, stuffed Panda Bear , former Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, this morning recovered his memory about that mysterious night in a New York pole dancing joint. As everybody knows, Rudd, strangely, could not remember much about that evening with NT politician, Warren Snowdon , and New York Post editor, Col Allan. There was a strong suspicion that the forces of darkness had slipped him a mickey finn while he innocently sipped a schooner of Queensland pineapple juice.
Despite hypnotism , electric shock treatment , assistance from the New York CSI and interrogation, which included waterboarding by Mrs Rudd , he had what amounted to total amnesia.
Despite hypnotism , electric shock treatment , assistance from the New York CSI and interrogation, which included waterboarding by Mrs Rudd , he had what amounted to total amnesia.
This morning , however , Mr Rudd went for a skate on an imported Filipino banana , banged his noggin and blacked out . Police are working on a lead that a man in a suit wearing a cowboy hat set the disappearing Foreign Minister up for a fall by scattering the banana skins about his front door. Coming to in the arms of his ever loving wife, Rudd said ," I’ve just recalled what happened during that study tour in the Big Apple." Naturally, Therese , was more than somewhat interested. Reaching for a shillelagh , she urged him to tell/confess all.
When he told her he had had a Pauline conversion on the road to New York, she eyed him suspiciously , raised the club higher and asked for more info about this Pauline. "Truly ," he stammered. "I wanted to emulate Australia’s highly respected Governor-General, Sir Paul Hasluck, a former Territories Minister , who on a visit to New York wowed the locals when he played the bongo drums at a nightspot. "
If it was good enough for Sir Paul , a conservative individual who showed incredible self control when , while watering the garden with a hose, was asked by a bone headed reporter if he had a sense of humour , it was okay for Kevin O7 to repeat the drumming event. This morning, Rudd vividly recalled playing a bracket of Salvation Army songs on a tom –tom at the gentlemen’s club. An anorexic woman wearing a loose bikini and a grannie bonnet , a Paris Hilton look alike , had jumped up out of the audience , with a tambourine , and joined in .
Wielding the tambourine with great gusto, she accidently hit him on the head and our Kevin lost his memory. It seems Snowdon and Allan took up a collection from Christian gents in the club and the money was donated to a good cause : a brain transplant for President George Dubya Bush.
