CRUELTY CLAIM AGAINST VANQUISHED KEVIN RUDD ; THE EYES HAVE IT!

CANBERRA NEWSFLASH: The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dumb Animals (SPCDA) has expressed outrage that the Australian political hermit , Kevin Rudd , will take up residence in a cave with an unsuspecting Tibetan Yeti . Pausing to squirt Golden Eye Ointment into his infected Third Eye, SPCDA spokesman , Lobsang Rampa, said it would be an act of extreme cruelty to expose any hairy Yeti to Rudd enumerating- in Chinese (with Cantonese expletives)- the 1001 points why he should be King Kong in the ALP and how he will star in a movie shot atop the Empire State Building in which he throws a screaming redhead to her death . Myopic Rampa , squinting into the sun, said Yetis throughout Tibet were howling disapproval at the news that the babbling Doctor Death would soon be moving to Tibet to muscle in on the monster tourist trade.