Deep inside a popular Sydney Chinese restaurant where Sussex Street assassins and gluttonous journalists regularly disport themselves , the ALP’s secret election weapon -Basil the psychic Balmain Bug - is kept prisoner in a locked room.
Basil is Australia’s answer to the repulsive octopus which became a global celebrity by predicting the outcome of soccer matches in South Africa. Our Basil is the house trained pet of former NSW Premier , Neville Wran, who found the cute creature was still alive when he won a seafood tray in an ALP raffle. Instead of cooking him, Wran made the critter one of the family and taught him all he knows about politics.
It was discovered Basil could predict the outcome of elections anywhere in the world. In an exclusive interview with Little Darwin, Neville Wran said he is proud of Basil because he is a tough little bugger. “Balmain Bugs don’t cry,” he told us-apparently they do not have tear ducts.
When the ALP’s X-lotto numbers man, Richo ,heard about Basil’s amazing powers and encyclopedic political knowledge, he borrowed him from his old mate to head the government’s election campaign. “ If Basil says Julia has to look like a mermaid to win votes, we’ll have her sitting on a rock looking like the Little Mermaid out of Hans Christian Andersen,” Richo , a master tactician , told us.
Each day now, Basil is asked who will win the forthcoming election. The crustacean has the choice of two things: a steamed dim sim , representing hot gospeller Tony Abbott , or an upright springroll with a strip of red Peking Duck on top which, of course, stands for Julia Gillard.
Without exception , Basil darts at the springroll and devours it in a flash. There is concern that if he eats too many springrolls he will end up looking like a magnificent West Australian rock lobster and elope with Magda Szubanski who now looks like Twiggy or a seductive springroll , throwing the entire ALP campaign into disarray.
Basil is Australia’s answer to the repulsive octopus which became a global celebrity by predicting the outcome of soccer matches in South Africa. Our Basil is the house trained pet of former NSW Premier , Neville Wran, who found the cute creature was still alive when he won a seafood tray in an ALP raffle. Instead of cooking him, Wran made the critter one of the family and taught him all he knows about politics.
It was discovered Basil could predict the outcome of elections anywhere in the world. In an exclusive interview with Little Darwin, Neville Wran said he is proud of Basil because he is a tough little bugger. “Balmain Bugs don’t cry,” he told us-apparently they do not have tear ducts.
When the ALP’s X-lotto numbers man, Richo ,heard about Basil’s amazing powers and encyclopedic political knowledge, he borrowed him from his old mate to head the government’s election campaign. “ If Basil says Julia has to look like a mermaid to win votes, we’ll have her sitting on a rock looking like the Little Mermaid out of Hans Christian Andersen,” Richo , a master tactician , told us.
Each day now, Basil is asked who will win the forthcoming election. The crustacean has the choice of two things: a steamed dim sim , representing hot gospeller Tony Abbott , or an upright springroll with a strip of red Peking Duck on top which, of course, stands for Julia Gillard.
Without exception , Basil darts at the springroll and devours it in a flash. There is concern that if he eats too many springrolls he will end up looking like a magnificent West Australian rock lobster and elope with Magda Szubanski who now looks like Twiggy or a seductive springroll , throwing the entire ALP campaign into disarray.
