The Americanisation of Australia is just about complete when you hear learned professors and ABC newsreaders using infuriating American pronunciations of words . Take the case of the ABC newsreader I have twice heard offend by pronouncing laboratory as “LABRATORY ”. ( A pause here while I take blood pressure pills. ) …
That’s better . Then there is the growing use of “ ROWT ” for route ( another pause for pills )… Route is a delightful word devised by those cheese eating surrender monkeys . I have heard local professors , town planners and bus drivers rowting around . No wonder President Bush , the tongue tied barbarian , made us the deputy sheriff of Asia as we are increasingly sounding like Okies from Muskogee in our speech .
Is it any wonder uni students need crash courses in remedial English when academics , like so many of our golfers , soon begin to sound like Yanks ? Surveys reveal the average Hexed (correct spelling as they are being influenced by evil forces ) student lolls about in front of the plasma brain cell destroyer , eating junk food, watching CSI , Oprah , third rate Hollywoood movies , celebrity hogwash, Sex in the CBD , Sex in the Suburbs , Sex Down Under , Sex in the Cabbage Pack , Sex in the Alamo , Two and Half Brains , ER, ET , BO , DTs and the Big Bang . Thoroughly brain damaged as a result, our undergrads inevitably speak and spell like Americanos .
That’s better . Then there is the growing use of “ ROWT ” for route ( another pause for pills )… Route is a delightful word devised by those cheese eating surrender monkeys . I have heard local professors , town planners and bus drivers rowting around . No wonder President Bush , the tongue tied barbarian , made us the deputy sheriff of Asia as we are increasingly sounding like Okies from Muskogee in our speech .
Is it any wonder uni students need crash courses in remedial English when academics , like so many of our golfers , soon begin to sound like Yanks ? Surveys reveal the average Hexed (correct spelling as they are being influenced by evil forces ) student lolls about in front of the plasma brain cell destroyer , eating junk food, watching CSI , Oprah , third rate Hollywoood movies , celebrity hogwash, Sex in the CBD , Sex in the Suburbs , Sex Down Under , Sex in the Cabbage Pack , Sex in the Alamo , Two and Half Brains , ER, ET , BO , DTs and the Big Bang . Thoroughly brain damaged as a result, our undergrads inevitably speak and spell like Americanos .
A whole book could be written about our wretched country and western singers who ape the Americans- drawling , moaning and sobbing a la Hicksville . Tamworth is undermining the Aussie way of life, not promoting it . Mind you , I would applaud any Aussie songsters who could copy those great Americans, Kinky Friedman and Little Jewford .
There is a compelling reason why Australian troops in Baghdad and Afghanistan commonly use the American pronunciation of route . They have to communicate with the Yanks daily , often in life threatening situations , and a misunderstanding over a word like route could result in being wrongly directly deep into bandit territory , up the Potomac without George Washington’s paddle. Then you would be well and truly routed.
There is a compelling reason why Australian troops in Baghdad and Afghanistan commonly use the American pronunciation of route . They have to communicate with the Yanks daily , often in life threatening situations , and a misunderstanding over a word like route could result in being wrongly directly deep into bandit territory , up the Potomac without George Washington’s paddle. Then you would be well and truly routed.
