As part of the 2030 vision for the NT , redundant American car industry robots will be installed in the new Palmerston Hospital which will rival Dubai’s fabulous man –made luxury island estate Palm Jumeirah .
Instead of welding car body components together , the downsized , rusty robots will carry out rapid cosmetic surgery operations to turn Darwin into a city of beautiful people with a new car warranty on their battered organs. All females will be given a nip and tuck and converted into Nicole Kidman look alikes , according to exclusive information supplied to Little Darwin medical roundsman, Dr Bob Bandaid .
Dr Bandaid , addicted to hot chocolate , says the task will be difficult for the robot surgeons when it comes to converting Territory males into handsome snags as so many have heads like warthogs and bodies like ruptured bean bags.
The robots will automatically give each patient a free grease and oil change and tighten up their gudgeon pins, the latter tending to go sloppy and rusty in the Territory’s fabulous lifestyle. Fine tuning will have to be carried out on the mechanical robots before they are allowed to touch delicate dipsticks. Rapid robotic arm actions could also prove messy when it comes to handling bedpans.
Robots can be programmed to work twice as long without a break as your average bug-eyed hospital intern. The use of rejected auto robots will greatly reduce the bill for surgeons . However , the already over-worked nurses will develop bags under their eyes, droopy bosoms , flat feet, varicose veins and rapidly spreading waistlines.
Patients being operated on by a robotic medico will have the choice of selecting one which used to make Cadillacs, Hummers , Chevs or stretch limos before they were sacked and told to hit the road. Dr Bandaid says introduction of the robots into the Territory is in the capable- but dangerous- hands of Health Department mugwump , Edward Scissorfingers, just back from a study tour of a third world scrapheap , Detroit.
Instead of welding car body components together , the downsized , rusty robots will carry out rapid cosmetic surgery operations to turn Darwin into a city of beautiful people with a new car warranty on their battered organs. All females will be given a nip and tuck and converted into Nicole Kidman look alikes , according to exclusive information supplied to Little Darwin medical roundsman, Dr Bob Bandaid .
Dr Bandaid , addicted to hot chocolate , says the task will be difficult for the robot surgeons when it comes to converting Territory males into handsome snags as so many have heads like warthogs and bodies like ruptured bean bags.
The robots will automatically give each patient a free grease and oil change and tighten up their gudgeon pins, the latter tending to go sloppy and rusty in the Territory’s fabulous lifestyle. Fine tuning will have to be carried out on the mechanical robots before they are allowed to touch delicate dipsticks. Rapid robotic arm actions could also prove messy when it comes to handling bedpans.
Robots can be programmed to work twice as long without a break as your average bug-eyed hospital intern. The use of rejected auto robots will greatly reduce the bill for surgeons . However , the already over-worked nurses will develop bags under their eyes, droopy bosoms , flat feet, varicose veins and rapidly spreading waistlines.
Patients being operated on by a robotic medico will have the choice of selecting one which used to make Cadillacs, Hummers , Chevs or stretch limos before they were sacked and told to hit the road. Dr Bandaid says introduction of the robots into the Territory is in the capable- but dangerous- hands of Health Department mugwump , Edward Scissorfingers, just back from a study tour of a third world scrapheap , Detroit.
