President-elect Barack Obama has devised a breathtaking plan to solve the global snafu . Little Darwin can reveal it has been drawn up with the help of Judy Garland , the mangy Hollywood canine star, Lassie, naughty party girl , Britney Spears , and Judge Judy.
Judy Garland was called in early to help Obama become the Wizard of Oz and show him the way over the rainbow into the land where dreams come true. Dreams are part of the great American self - deception.
Lassie, now a geriatric in an expensive retirement village , will lead American troops home from Iraq to wage war against Wall Street , junk bond dealers, short sellers, floggers of dodgy derivatives , neo conservatives who sing Hallelujah while gorging themselves on Mammon and other free market buccaneers who drape themselves in righteousness and the Stars and Stripes. Lassie will eventually become another Obama family dog in the White House menagerie but will probably be on constant life support after the heat of Baghdad .
Readers of celebrity mush magazines will recall that after a tiny spell in the slammer , Britney , like so many in America , emerged from the clink to a giant media pack and proclaimed she had become a born again Christian . She told the word she could even spell the divine word Babel, sorry , Bible. To help President Obama solve the world’s many problems, she has promised to say a prayer for him each day as she is ejected from a posh nightclub.
Judge Judy will hold special no - nonsense court sittings to deal with the massive army of bankers , economists , investment advisors , lobbyists , Federal Reserve fishheads and all the other highly paid “experts” who did not see the obvious corruption going on .
The judge has warned that all criminally inept boards and CEOs will be ordered to pay back five years’ salary and their multitudinous fringe benefits which will go into the public purse . Their secret bank accounts in tax havens will also be confiscated . In this way , America will be awash in filthy lucre, Obama will become a saint , and it is predicted by the year 2012 every child born in a ghetto will be driving a gold plated Cadillac - legally.
Judy Garland was called in early to help Obama become the Wizard of Oz and show him the way over the rainbow into the land where dreams come true. Dreams are part of the great American self - deception.
Lassie, now a geriatric in an expensive retirement village , will lead American troops home from Iraq to wage war against Wall Street , junk bond dealers, short sellers, floggers of dodgy derivatives , neo conservatives who sing Hallelujah while gorging themselves on Mammon and other free market buccaneers who drape themselves in righteousness and the Stars and Stripes. Lassie will eventually become another Obama family dog in the White House menagerie but will probably be on constant life support after the heat of Baghdad .
Readers of celebrity mush magazines will recall that after a tiny spell in the slammer , Britney , like so many in America , emerged from the clink to a giant media pack and proclaimed she had become a born again Christian . She told the word she could even spell the divine word Babel, sorry , Bible. To help President Obama solve the world’s many problems, she has promised to say a prayer for him each day as she is ejected from a posh nightclub.
Judge Judy will hold special no - nonsense court sittings to deal with the massive army of bankers , economists , investment advisors , lobbyists , Federal Reserve fishheads and all the other highly paid “experts” who did not see the obvious corruption going on .
The judge has warned that all criminally inept boards and CEOs will be ordered to pay back five years’ salary and their multitudinous fringe benefits which will go into the public purse . Their secret bank accounts in tax havens will also be confiscated . In this way , America will be awash in filthy lucre, Obama will become a saint , and it is predicted by the year 2012 every child born in a ghetto will be driving a gold plated Cadillac - legally.
