Love thy neighbour - or else !
In a drastic move to produce a baby boom in China , the geriatric regime has drawn up a brilliant plan to encourage love- making throughout the nation .
The well informed Kings Cross Whisper News Service says the Chinese leaders plan to convert all the South China Sea shoals it built up into military bases into Love Island reality television dating holiday camps .
All sand will be removed from the camps and replaced with smooth pebbles so as not to inflict pain on eager couples indulging in spring rolls.
An official statement today said Operation Big Leap Forward / Leg Over will be launched during the coming leap year , and is expected to result in the birth of many children to replace the rapidly ageing workforce.
Under the incredible plan , the name of China's largest social media messaging app, WeChat , which Donald Trump wanted banned , will be changed to Chat Up or Else !
An anonymous Chinese observer today said many of those in the country's top ranks appeared to be in their second childhood , dyeing their hair , wearing uncomfortable corsets , even flashing gold chains when seen in Crown casinos .
In addition , it was obvious that members of China's diplomatic and foreign office were undergoing monkey gland injections , causing them to act like jibbering , hairy - chested terracotta warriors in public , make boofheaded comments about Australia .
