Friday, June 21, 2019

FAMOUS SAINT RUBBED OUT

 
 Townsvillle's  fading  stick  figure  of  a  saint  atop Castle Hill is about to be replaced  by  the latest   artificial   intelligence  device , above,  which  will accurately   predict  the weather  and  stock  market   moves six months in advance   and  the weekly   winning   lottery  numbers  for  all   residents .   The   amazing  gadget is  shown     about  to  be  secretly  unloaded  at  the  port  and   then  transported  under  armed guard  to   Castle Hill .  
Overnight , the  old saint  , hardly visible, above , on the left ,  will be erased and replaced  with  the  dazzling  white  tower , filled with  state of the art   wizardry ,  on  the  very summit . It will  emit  a  powerful rotating  beam of  light  visible  to  illegal  fishermen  as  far  away  as  Ashmore  Reef and  Planet Zog .  
Another Townsville  saint  facing the  AI  chop  is  the very faded  first Australian Catholic saint, Mary MacKillop, who overlooks a busy Townsville  road . An ungodly  local tourist  industry spokesman , who insisted he not be named for fear that he might be hit by  a  bolt of  lightning or suffer an outbreak of prickly pear ,    said  saints  are  old  hat nowadays , don't  inspire  any  modern   pilgrimages  in  North  Queensland .  The  whiz bang  new  saint on Castle Hill would  result in  a  massive  bonanza , leading  to  Townsville being renamed El Dorado .