HEARD ON THE MEDICAL FRONT

Unusual variation of the Hippocratic Oath was used by a medico to describe the shortcomings of the Royal Darwin Hospital. It would be interesting to know what prompted this exceedingly colourful outburst . *** While on matters  medical , anybody who has regular dealings with the medical profession soon realises that case management , especially informing patients, who are human beings, not just numbers , needs an overhaul in this town, as well as elsewhere in the nation . *** It is highly desirable that patients be given a copy of ALL tests, rather than a verbal report as these documents  can reveal information not passed on by the professional . *** When it comes to changing the medication regime , it is also desirable that these instructions be given in writing , not verbally , as they are often given just as you are bundled out the door, sometimes with documents authorising further tests ,  procedures not  mentioned or properly explained  in the “consultation.”*** Doctors’ appalling handwriting – in this day and age surely a way can be found to overcome scribble . *** In pharmacies and diagnostic clinics it is not uncommon to hear staff  mutter when trying to decipher  prescriptions   and instructions ... “Bloody specialists!” heard on two occasions.

 

ASIO PAINTS STARTLING SCENARIOS –The serialised biography of Crusading Northern Territory Editor “Big Jim” Bowditch.

On the home front, the marriage of Jim and Iris Bowditch was under pressure. He was engrossed  in  many issues in Alice Springs-politics,  numerous  meetings , some at The Bungalow settlement because of his  interest in advancing “half castes,” cricket, amateur theatricals , writing for the Federated Clerks' Union newsletter,  the RSL, sitting up  late  playing chess with his "father confessor"  in a caravan having  long  philosophical  discussions .

By Peter Simon

Because of his involvement in the vicious struggle by the Industrial Groupers to take over unions in the drive against Communist influence , one which led to a split in the ALP and the formation of the Democratic Labor Party, plus his support for the Peace Council, he was regarded as a Communist  by  part of  the  community and to be avoided . A Catholic priest had  urged clerks not to  vote for  Bowditch in   a union election  and a  senior police  officer  avoided  him , not wanting to be seen with him in  public  because of  the  fear that public servants could  lose their jobs  if they were associated with Communists .   

In October 1950 , the offices of the North Australian Workers’ Union and its Darwin newspaper, the Northern Standard ,were searched as part of lightning , coordinated raids in capital cities across the nation . They were carried out by Security Service officers and local police under the Menzies Government’s Communist Party Dissolution Act. Police arrived at the NAWU  office in two utilities carrying large packing cases , but nothing was taken  away. Also raided was the home of  M. Carne , secretary of the Darwin branch of the Communist Party , where piles of literature were seized.

In Sydney, the editorial offices of the Communist newspaper Tribune and the  Eureka Youth League  ,in the same building , were searched , staff questioned . In Melbourne , about half a ton of documents was seized at the Communist Party headquarters.  Pamphlets and papers were taken away from the Tasmanian branch of the Communist Party CP in Hobart . These events  illustrate the tense  political situation  in which  Bowditch found himself- a war hero , even then known as a champion of the  underdog, a man who would help anybody experiencing financial problems,  victims of   perceived injustices. 

MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN

The  close attention  given to Bowditch by  security offices is revealed in  official reports. Using unusual language, ASIO made extraordinary claims about  Bowditch. One said his wife “prompted” him over an alleged affair with a woman , described as a “Communist stooge, ” a kind of femme fatale , who had been sent to Alice Springs to influence Bowditch. ASIO continued that , “ from all accounts” , she had been “ pulling it over” Bowditch.

Furthermore, it was stated this woman had stayed at the residence of Mr and Mrs Wauchope when she first came to Alice. Alan Wauchope was described in the ASIO report as being about 40, former editor of the Centralian Advocate and private secretary  to  Jock Nelson, MHR.

According to Bowditch , his wife Iris was not really interested in politics or unions and shared her parents’ belief that  unionists were communists who should be avoided. Involved in so many activities, Bowditch was leading a hectic life and at times was away from home. After returning early from one  trip , he became involved in a fight with a red-headed man who used to drink with the Bowditches at the racecourse, and was reportedly attentive to Iris . The fight took place in the Bowditch residence ; considerable damage was done to the small house.

Iris left soon after for Melbourne . Bowditch told this writer that he had agreed that Iris, on returning to her parents, would tell them that the marriage break up was entirely his fault. He came to regret this as he said alimony payouts had impacted on his finances for years. His sister, Mary, was highly critical of Iris when discussing with  this  writer the reason for the marriage failure in Alice Springs.

After Iris’s departure, Jim was at a loss what to do , his ego damaged. There was a woman whom he described decades later as “mystical, ” the supposed femme fatale mentioned by ASIO, but this relationship did not continue. To escape Alice and its problems , he took some leave and drove to Adelaide in a soft top car , where he said there was a woman whom he “admired”-Marjorie Johnston , who had  come to Alice  for the Peace Council meeting mentioned earlier in this series. ASIO noted the departure of the Bowditches thus :

Subject ( Jim Bowditch ) left Alice Springs l4/2/52 to travel overland to Adelaide in his car . He was short of money and intended trying to sell the car in Adelaide , after which he was to have gone on to Sydney . If he could not get his price for the car , he intended to get a job as a traveller or with a country newspaper in South Australia . He is said to have left his wife ; she went South by plane about a week before subject left by car.

STRANGE REPORTS   FROM ADELAIDE

 In Adelaide , Bowditch  at  first stayed at the home of his friend, Harry Krantz, secretary  of  the SA Federated Clerks.  Krantz recalled that  Bowditch arrived with a waterbag , an enamel plate and a tin mug.  Krantz’s mother had  known and liked Iris Bowditch  and  was sad to  hear that the couple had parted . While Bowditch was staying in the Krantz household the Alice publican, Ly Underdown, came to Adelaide and called in with the FCU SA president .

ASIO kept Bowditch under close  observation in Adelaide . One memorandum said he was “believed” to be temporarily residing at the residence of lawyer Elliott Johnston, a member of the Communist Party of Australia State Secretariat . Bowditch’s car was observed parked outside on three nights from early evening until late at night, when surveillance was discontinued. The same report said that Bowditch had been known in the Adelaide ASIO office since l950 “ when evidence was discovered that, although ostensibly an ALP supporter , he persistently supported the communist line in the FCU’s affairs ...”

The memorandum went on to say the SA Department of Works and Housing could not say whether or not Bowditch was still employed by the department in Alice. Beneath a blacked out section, it read : “…It cannot be confirmed that this allegation is correct. Nevertheless, circumstantial evidence to date makes the allegation probably accurate" Another secret memorandum from ASIO headquarters , with blacked out portions, said the photograph mentioned was one of James Bowditch and his wife and it appeared that this person “ is probably identical with the James Bowditch on record , who recently arrived in Adelaide, per motor car”.

It was stated  data from a  “Q” Branch source , in South Australia , categorically stated that Bowditch joined the C.P.A. during his visit to Adelaide. In the same file was the additional information :

On the l5th April, Marjorie Vivian Johnston, C.P. of A. member and Acting Secretary of the S.A. Peace Council , stated that when Bowditch was in Adelaide early this month he requested Elliott Johnston to give him a position as a permanent worker for the S.A. Peace Council. Johnston is understood to have said that he could not arrange such a position for Bowditch. Marjorie Johnston already stated that during his recent visit to Adelaide from Alice Springs , Bowditch joined the Communist Party.

 In his aimless and uncertain frame of mind at the time, Bowditch applied to rejoin the army and fight in Korea . In his re-enlistment application he said he was unemployed. Security vetted the application and assessed him as a risk because he was “a sympathiser”. Unfavourable factors listed were the NT Security reports, his involvement with the FCU and Harry Krantz (“ suspected C.P. member” ) , a Tribune item which had  mentioned Bowditch and his involvement with the Peace Council. Favourable factors : Bowditch had “allegedly ” won a D.C.M and the M. I. D., and he was president of the Alice Springs branch of the ALP.

The Bowditch file included a secret report, with several lines blacked out , by a person with the title “senior field officer ”, which contained a sensational claim about why Bowditch wanted to fight in Korea : “ At the end of March l952 subject ( Bowditch ) stated that he wanted to join the Australian Forces in Korea with a view of deserting and joining Thornton in China.” The person referred to here was Ernest Thornton , dubbed “the Red Czar ” of the Federated Ironworkers’ Association , who had been ousted by the Industrial Groupers campaign in l949 . Thornton was subsequently seconded by the World Federation of Trade Unions to head the Asian Liaison Bureau, based in China .

The alleged intention to “ desert” to China was repeated. What is to be made of this assertion , not known until well after Bowditch’s death , so that he could not be asked to respond ? It is such a bizarre suggestion that it invites conjecture. One possibility, of course, is that he did make a dramatic  statement , perhaps while drinking , along the lines that he would like to desert and join Thornton in China. The fact that Thornton had taken up a post in China had received prominent , derogatory coverage in the Australian  Press.

At the time of him applying to rejoin the army , Bowditch acknowledged that he had been at a low ebb , his male ego crushed by the circumstances of his wife’s departure, and at a loss to know what to do . That he was in something of a quandary is gleaned from the ASIO report which claimed he had driven from Alice to Adelaide short of money , intending to sell his car and travel to Sydney ; failing to sell his car , it seems he was prepared to seek work on a country newspaper or even become a door to door salesman, like he had soon after being demobbed .

A number of  the people with whom he mixed in Adelaide during that period had been deeply involved in the battle with the Groupers , and it is possible Bowditch voiced the off the cuff colourful statement about wanting to “defect” and link up with Thornton. The report in respect of him supposedly seeking a job with the South  Australian Peace Council   clearly  illustrates that at that stage in his life he was adrift , prepared  to  try anything .

Anyone having had any close ties with Bowditch , especially journalists , could list extreme statements made by Jim , not necessarily while under the influence of alcohol. While  expressing deep indignation at the action of governments , companies and or individuals , especially in cases where people or nations were being oppressed, brutalised or “bullied” , Bowditch often said it was a situation where ,” You just feel like grabbing a gun and shooting the bastards .” Security men or informants over-hearing such utterances could build up a file presenting Bowditch as a potential assassin , perhaps even a serial killer.Therefore , it is suggested reports of  him expressing the desire to “ defect to China ” should be taken with a sack of iodised salt.

ASIO also noted that Bowditch claimed to have “ unnamed ” friends inside the Adelaide Post Office. Did this information raise the possibility that he could gain access to the Royal mail ? During  his battles with the Menzies government , Bowditch , not infrequently, said Cabinet members were so dense and reactionary they should  be shot to advance the well- being of the nation . Why, he would ask in exasperation , did people let mongrels and , those most hated of beings, bullies , stand over them and force them to lead miserable lives ? It will be shown later on that Bowditch, in print , said the then ALP leader, Arthur Calwell, should be shot . Of course , years later, a disturbed young man , Peter Kocan , later a noted poet and novelist, did attempt to shoot Calwell. NEXT : Bowditch becomes an instant editor .

THRILLED TO BE ALIVE

Showing  signs of  wear and  tear, this car and  dog dodging  Frill Neck Lizard (Chlamydosaurus  kingii) is  king  of  a  leafy  part of   a  Darwin suburb, often climbing a  tree to  observe the  ebullient  cafe  latte  set  in  action .   Long  may  he  reign.

DARWIN HOSPITAL POWER PLAY

It was yet another one of those strange days at the Royal Darwin Hospital.  Fittingly enough , our man,  Cyclops , a certified and registered one - eyed political reporter, above , attended to have an eye looked at . He arrived just after the mercury hit the highest temperature for 36 years to find the hospital on CODE YELLOW because of a power blackout which knocked out most of the lifts . Waiting outside the eye clinic was a real eye-opener  in more ways than one .

As noted before , there were small triangular signs at the ceiling warning of asbestos above . But, noticed for the first time, were similar small signs stating that there was asbestos in the vinyl on the floor . A poor old codger , in a wheelchair, wearing hospital pyjamas , sat waiting and coughing outside the eye clinic. A person who knew him came along and asked him what he was doing . He replied that he was waiting to go into the clinic , but it had taken two and half hours to get down because the  lifts were not working.

A large blowfly then made a dramatic entrance ; it crawled up and down the wall , flew into the clinic reception office, ran along the partition without any of the four people in there noticing it , then , for some strange reason , possibly body odour ? , dive  bombed Cyclops and disappeared down the corridor.

Gazing about the corridor, Cyclops spotted what looked like thick black mould on one of the grubby- looking ceiling tiles opposite the eye clinic reception and the adjoining pre admission area. On the notice board were the usual health leaflets that you would expect covering matters related to eyes and patient rights , plus a few other puzzling ones . There was one , with prices,  for Lisa’s Beauty (waxing and massage ) and an advertisement for a used Pajero. A  rather frightening poster seemed to imply you could pass on an eye disease which could make your nearest and dearest look like the Pinocchio family with elongated noses . Is this some kind of glaucoma mutation that has been kept secret ?

From time to time ,  announcements were made over the PA about the Code Yellow situation : one lift was working ; the engineer had traced the problem to a switchboard ;  all power had been restored to the main wards block...all lights went out for a few seconds, there were cheers. A pregnant woman had to work down eight flights of stairs , according to one  report .

Cyclops experienced another power outage on a previous, recent visit to RDH .On that occasion he obtained an unexpected starring role in the horror movie BIRTH OF FRANKENSTEIN ... and could not help laughing. Apart from obviously missing a few marbles, there was no bolt through his neck . He ventured to RDH to have a barium enema ,clad in a skimpy hospital gown , and scanned in 57 positions ; time and time again he was instructed to roll over as if on a rotisserie , in the process exposing his unsightly derriere – not his best profile ( hopefully staff get danger money on such occasions) . It was decided to shoot him from below , standing erect , the platform elevated . Wrapped in the flimsy hospital gown , he was standing up there, coyly, like David, in all his glory, watched by no less than five female members of staff .

The machine suddenly went clunk! There he was , on high, the capsule not responding to NASA control . He could be lost in space , floating about with the Red Dwarf for the rest of his days , his wife keeping watch with binoculars on clear nights , every Leap Year . Cables were checked , he was told to hang onto the side , and two of the staff were instructed to stand in front of him in case he collapsed like a deckchair or had the mad desire to dive into the mosh pit . Somebody went out of the theatre to try and find out why the scanner had ground to a halt. The Russians may have been alerted to crank up a spare Sputnik rocket to rescue him . The message came through that there had been a power surge in Darwin . Eventually, he was brought back to terra firma and soon after deposited some Moon rocks in a nearby closet .

Then , on another visit to RDH, Cyclops was involved in another incident . It was announced over the PA that there was a fire and doors were being shut . A wise Aboriginal woman asked if it was just another exercise or  a  real fire . A large security man was seen dashing out the front door, so it looked as if it was the genuine article . There was talk of something having  happened on the fourth floor . No smoke could be seen . Quite some time later, the rotund security man hove into view again followed by fireman and opened up a lift. A patient voiced the opinion that you were not supposed to use lifts in a fire , so took to the stairs .

MEMO NEW HOSPITAL BOARD : Arm the eye clinic with a cheap fly swatter ; clean those dirty looking ceilings and examine the mould which may be breeding penicillin or Golden Staph. There are  many systems  within  the hospital which need  eyeballing .

NORTHERN WILDLIFE UNDER THREAT

In  a defensive stance against a dog on Magnetic Island, Queensland, this Curlew is luckier than several of its kind seen dead on roads in Darwin , NT, this week . Roadkill is  a problem on the island . A large number of Kite Hawks have also died in  Darwin of  late, the  cause not absolutely clear .  Cane toads have been responsible for the  demise of many Territory lizards  and other  animals  .  Good news is that the recent annual count of Torres Strait Pigeons in North Queensland was  high , around 20,000.   After recent cyclones, the count had  dropped to about 2500 . The  pigeons  are evident in Darwin suburbs now.

THE ACTRESS AND THE IMPECUNIOUS DOCTOR

An unusual story of actresses , stage door Johnnies , early life in Western Australia , African witchcraft , a vivid account of the evacuation of wounded troops from  Dunkirk in WW11 , London under the German blitz and condemnation of the British National Health Service Bill emerged in an investigation prompted by a book  discovered in Adelaide in the l980s. Published in 1946 , it is an author’s presentation copy of NINETY-NINE AND ALL THAT , by Frederick Kaigh , the nom-de-plume of Dr Gerald Baeyertz Kirkland , eventually married to a famous British musical comedy actress, Jose Collins, who suicided in January 1959 , a month after she died . There is a newspaper cutting , above , taped  in which contains details of the suicide.

The front free endpaper contains the following inscription , To Jose , with every possible good wish , Frederick Kaigh , 1947 . On the same page , penned in a different hand , is Witchcraft & Magic of Africa by Frederick Kaigh , followed by Dr Kirkland in brackets. There is another name , possibly Mr Kirkland , Loughton, Essex , 20/3/50. In respect of the book dealing with Witchcraft and Magic in Africa , a reviewer said it was a rather strange work , one which took as its premise that modern science could not explain everything about African witchcraft – “ perhaps this can be explained partly by the fact that Dr Kirkland wrote this hoping to stave off bankruptcy, so a certain amount of sensationalism would help sales.”

Gerald Kirkland was about seven when his father , a London surgeon born in New Zealand, took the family to Perth, WA, early in the 20th century. The autobiographical book NINETY-NINE AND ALL THAT described Perth society as snobbish ,his father getting about in an early Oldsmobile . There is also mention of an incident when the WA governor was brought home by his father to find seven nude children romping about the house . Returning to England, Gerald became a doctor himself , spent time in Africa , became entranced by the actress Jose Collins , at one stage unsuccessfully proposing  marriage to her when he was a medical student  , and served as a military doctor during WW11 .

Jose came from a theatrical family . He mother , born London 1866 , with the stage name of "Lottie Collins," performed a skipping rope dance when she was 11 , and became a well known "Naughty Nineties" singer and dancer , famous for a bump and grind routine while she sang Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay! Married three times, Lottie Collins died in l910 , aged 44, her early demise attributed by some to her strenuous stage performances.

Her daughter,  Charlotte  Josephine Collins  - "Jose "- born in l893 , also became famous as a singer , actress and a star of early Hollywood movies . The great Caruso is said to have played a part in her singing career . Like her mother, she married three times . With her first husband , Leslie Chatfield , she sailed to New York in 1911 . A write up in the New York Times said Chatfield , son of a colonel of a company of Hussars in the Boer War  was also nephew of Admiral Chatfield of the British Navy and  owned “sheep ranches” in Australia. He  had met Jose when she was  performing at the Alhambra , London.  One  report claimed  that in  New York  she met her father for the first time- Jose Van den Berg , conductor of a New York orchestra and director of an opera company. One of  the  Gaiety Girls , she was highly popular in the US.  In her heyday,  Jose had received a much as $3000 a week , but she led the high life and spent recklessly.

Back in England , Jose Collins was  acclaimed for her singing part as the gypsy in Maid of the Mountains which struck an accord with couples separated during WW1 . In particular , the song Love Will Find A Way touched the hearts of many in those difficult days. Jose’s autobiography was entitled Maid of the Mountains. Australian soprano , Gladys Moncrieff , also achieved fame through Maid of the Mountains . Jose’s second marriage in 1920 was to Lord Robert Edward Innes-Ker (brother of Henry John Innes-Ker, 8th Duke of Roxburghe), which ended in divorce in l935.  She and  Dr Kirkland  married  the  following  year, he having been wedded before ;  during WW11, when he was a  major, she worked voluntarily in  hospitals  where  he  was stationed .

Near the end of the book Ninety-Nine And All That , Dr Kirkland describes a lunch at Kettner’s, in Soho, first opened as a restaurant by Auguste Kettner, (chef to Napoleon III) in 1867. It provided discreet salons particulieres , was popular with Oscar Wilde, Edward VII, Lillie Langtry, Agatha Christie and Bing Crosby, renowned for incredible parties. Those present included Jose Collins, filmstar Anna Neagle , music hall and variety theatre singer , Clarice Mayne , her husband , Teddy Knox , part of the original Crazy Gang , Mrs Herbert Wilcox and her film producer husband (Neagle later married Herbert Wilcox and saved him from bankruptcy) , an American two- star general , and others .  Late in life, Jose and  Dr Kirkland  lived in St. Olave’s , High Road, Loughton , Essex.

The couple were renowned for doing a local pub crawl , regailing entranced listeners with stories of Jose’s fabulous life. They would totter off home to St Olave’s. Short of money , the house mortgaged over and over , an annuity to Jose from Lord Curzon a real lifeline . A month after Jose died, Dr Kirkland, 61, declared bankrupt in l954 as Jose’s health was declining , gassed himself. At the inquest , Derek Kirkland , an engineer, said he had last seen his brother in a distraught state after Miss Collin’s funeral. His brother had financial worries and was ludicrously generous. It was impossible for him not to dispense largesse to anyone who came along , he added. A typed, unsigned suicide note was found in which suicide was referred to in a “disparaging way.”

A blue plaque was placed on St Olave’s marking the fact that the famous actress had lived there. When the building was demolished it was replaced by a block of flats called Collins Court. In the year 2000, the Loughton and District Historical Society ran a paper by Dr Donald Pohl about Jose and Dr Kirkland in which they were likened to , in their own way, as great a couple of lovers as were Antony and Cleopatra, and just as tragic. Dr Pohl ended the talk thus :

Now you know the story behind the blue plaque – stardom, love, ridicule and double bankruptcy. Spare a moment when you pass to ponder and think about the fame, the love and the tragedy that lies behind it. And always remember, as José herself reminded us, that “Love Will Find A Way”.

JULIAN ASSANGE IN SENSATIONAL ESCAPE TO PACIFIC ISLAND PARADISE

More famous and thirstier than the Ancient Mariner , Little Darwin’s acclaimed columnist / illustrator , Peter Burleigh , captured Admiral Assange , above , in full regalia , preparing for his journey to exotic Magnetic Island , now part of Ecuador.*

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LONDON: In an audacious overnight move, Ecuador claimed sovereignty over Magnetic Island , North Queensland , and appointed Julian Assange its governor , with the rank of Admiral of the Fleet and Communications Minister . On the island , the brave WikiLeaks founder will also be responsible for planning Fourth of July Celebrations , Schoolies Week , Full Moon Party Landings , dredging the safe harbour , concreting the Nelly Bay foreshore and investigating Alma Bay cane toad race fixing allegations following a suggestion that one of the jockeys bet against himself in  the  recent Melbourne Cup.

With so many fancy titles , Admiral Assange has automatic diplomatic immunity and will be allowed to leave the Ecuadorean Embassy here in the Queen’s Coronation coach , waving to the cheering throng on his way to Heathrow for the VIP flight to the Magnetic Island international airport. The Queen has graciously given Admiral Assange one of her favourite Corgis- Regal Crusty Pommie Pork Pie- to act as a drug sniffer dog at the island’s ferry terminal . In the Ecuadorian capital, Quito, it was announced that ancient maritime maps prove that the explorer and legendary national hero , Captain Alberto Santamaria , sailed a  balsa raft to the mysterious South Land in l450 and came ashore at what is now the Scotch Thistle infested nudist beach on Magnetic Island . In those days the isle was known as New Noosa, occupied by chanting,  fat - bellied men , members of a weird cargo cult , who got about in white footwear.

Captain Santamaria bought New Noosa for twice the amount the Dutch paid Indians for Manhattan Island . Then he proudly took possession of the island for Ecuador . The island was overrun by pesky koala bears at the time , so Captain Santamaria caged hundreds of them and took them home on the raft and started a Kentucky Fried Koala franchise , which made him fabulously rich . With the passage of time, the fact that Ecuador owned New Noosa became lost , until just last week .

On hearing this information , the current Ecuadorian leader , President Rafael Correa , a man of action , who,  unlike Australian politicians ,  tolerates no nonsense from the  abusive local media in his country , realised that he had the answer to the Julian Assange embassy siege in London. He ordered the immediate annexation of Magnetic Island. As Julian once lived on Magnetic Island with his mother, he is delighted to be able to return in triumph, wearing a uniform from Madame Tussauds extensive wardrobe.

 Little Darwin will  provide startled readers with further exclusive details of Julian Assange’s top  secret and dynamic plans for this  new part of  Latin America . With his big picture view of the world, Admiral Assange is expected to transform the entire nearby feeble Queensland economy, on the brink of being flogged off to a Spanish pawn shop or a Japanese scrapmetal dealer.

* Peter Burleigh recommends the www.cagle.com website which specialises in political cartoons and commentary , highlighting the fabulous work of Taylor Jones , wearer of a French type beret, renowned for his caricatures, cartoons and editorial illustrations . A veteran illustrator himself, Burleigh is a movie buff as well and points out that Admiral Assange’s uniform is like the one Gregory Peck wore in the l950s playing the part of Captain Hornblower , RN.

STOP PRESS : PALMER BACKS ASSANGE!!!

Prominent Queensland businessman , Clive Palmer, has heartily endorsed the news that Magnetic Island has been taken over by Ecuador and will be governed by Admiral Assange. In an exclusive interview , carried out in a cone of silence so that the CIA could not hear, Big Clive said he would strongly urge Ecuador to also annex Moreton Bay ,  the Gold  Coast  and Kingaroy to save Queensland from being ruined by the Infidel. Palmer also  offered Admiral Assange the use of his luxury yacht , SS Titanic, as a gunboat to protect Magnetic Island from unwashed backpackers , the Townsville City Council and a Bay of Pigs invasion . Plans for a massive dinosaur theme park have also been drawn up by  Palmer  for  Picnic Bay on Magnetic Island and will be put before Admiral Assange for his stamp of approval.