BRISBANE: A longitudinal study, taking in the Tropic of Capricorn and Kennedy, has revealed that while most Queensland schoolkids have benefited from Naplan testing , one section continues to flunk badly : pimply Young Liberals .
It has been pointed out by numerous commentators , including right wing, monosyllabic shock jocks, that this group of straw sucking youngsters has a poor understanding of the English language . For example , the meaning of a conscience vote .
The Young Libs threw a class tantrum when some Liberal National Party members exercised a conscience vote in the Queensland parliament and the acne faced Young Libs wanted them taken behind the bicycle shed , debagged , floured , covered in molasses , thrown on an anthill until after Prince Harry and Meghan have passed by .
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Typical Young Libs on Mad as Hell
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Prominent Queensland educator and champion pub arm wrestler , Emeritus Professor Ned Flogger , says Young Liberals are notoriously slow learners . Armed with pump action shotguns , they preferred to play cowboys and Indians with their drop out cousins, the Katterbugs , than thumb through a Webster's Dictionary, study the meaning of democracy and free speech .
He revealed the juveniles disliked listening to the ABC , because all the worthwhile information it provides strains their tiny little minds , and they want to sell the national broadcaster to carpetbaggers who support the Coalition to add to the dumbing down of the nation .
Trembling Professor Flogger admitted the strain of trying to educate Young Liberal numbskulls, who had difficulty reading and saying the fat cat sat on the tax free mat , had forced him into early retirement and bar room wrestling in Brisbane's wild Fortitude Valley to eke out a living . He pointed out Liberal senator and former federal Attorney-General , George "Book End " Brandis , had described the Queensland LNP , including the young ones , as very, very mediocre, so he resigned and went off to London to recuperate in antiquarian bookshops and drink in exclusive bars to pick up the latest gossip about the Chinese hacking Donald Trump's smart/drongo phones .
