Sunday, October 21, 2018

PURPLE PEOPLE LIBERAL EATERS IN WENTWORTH RAMPAGE

Bondi police have been placed  on stress leave after a   wild night of celebrations following the Wentworth by-election  which saw purple power  scuttle  the Liberal Party .  During the  night , police  arrested   57  drunken Bananas  in Pyjamas , five struggling  men claiming to  be    Malcolm Turnbull , the Vicar of  Dibley  doing a striptease   and   the  longtime    missing  Pommie  murder suspect  Lord  Lucan .  Some of  the  jubilant   supporters  of Dr Phelps are  captured   below  in  the  Bondi  lockup ,  awaiting court appearance .  
An exhausted   police spokesman this morning  told Little Darwin   most of the  Bananas in  Pyjamas were  lefty  ABC  staff  members  eager  to make life difficult   for the Coalition  which has been waging war on  the national broadcaster with  the  support  of  the   Murdoch  media  maulers . The stressed officer said he would never complain again about drunken Irish packpackers who call the beach  area County Bondi .The elephant had made a helluva  mess in the cells , and had  kept on trying  to insert its trunk  up the station sergeant's  trouser  leg  in search of  an apple . 
  
In breaking news from Canberra, award  winning political roundsman Argus Tuft  says  a  Wailing Wall   is being constructed in the Liberal  Party Funk Bunker  at  which   members of  the  broad and   much deformed church  will  kneel.
 
In further shock news, Tuft also   claims  PM  Scott  Morrison  is likely to  resign   from  parliament and take up a remunerative  new  post  as  spin doctor  for a  brand new  brand  of  whiter  than  white  washing  powder. 
 
SCOMO  URGED  TO  STOP  HAPPY BACK  CLAPPING
 
Terrified  and angry backbenchers , Tuft adds ,  will  move that  the PM  refrain from  his bad   habit of clapping  people on the   shoulder   and saying they are  jolly good fellows  because it  is  like  the  kiss of  political death . They  point out he was all the way with PM  Turnbull, said they were Siamese twins joined at the shoulder  ,  and  Malcolm  was knifed ,  dumped ; Dave Sharma was also  clapped on  the  shoulder and  he was  crushed  by  an  Adani   Bondi  iceberg . Speaking of icebergs , cartoonist David Rowe of the Australian Financial   Review provided a Titanic angle  to  the  by-election which  featured  a   nasty brown looking  floater for  which Bondi used to be infamous .