After arriving on the Isle des Mugs aboard a chartered ferry to cover the looming crisis for the respected international newspaper , The Daily Beast , mild mannered , latte sipping reporter , William Boot , took two hours to unload his tropical survival kit, including the world's only coal fired typewriter . Sleeping in , he finally managed to rise just before the sun was over the yardarm to file his first sensational cable , which shook the British Empire . His obviously coded dispatch read:-
NOTHING MUCH has happened here in the past year . Lit my first early morning Cuban cigar with a fake hundred dollar American bill , one of many blowing about the island. The mainland newspaper , The Daily Brute, owned by media magnate Lord Zinc, and other gentlemen of the Press , only interested in the latest trends in celebrity fertilisers and fierce state of origin croquet matches ,so do not regard feral counterfeit Yank currency as a threat to the banana republic's economy .
There was a pretty red dawn yesterday, a friendly native , Evelyn Waugh , not sure of gender , informed me . Hope there is another red sunrise tomorrow and I wake early enough to see nature in all its glory . I have been offered many freebie Chinese spring rolls . Lots of noxious weeds growing in backyards.
In London , his boss, Lord Copper , was delighted with this clever dispatch , its hidden message clearly indicating that America, Russia and China are stealthily attempting to take over the island and the Mugs are not aware .
