Award winning political journalist and freelance celebrity chef Argus Tuft provides helpful tips on how to cook a goose .
One of Australia's great cartoonists , David Rowe of the Australian Financial Review , soon to be deported under armed guard to Manus Island , cooked this tasty recipe , showing painfully plucked PM Malcolm Turnbull being inserted in the oven by babbling Barnaby Joyce , the ex-Nationals leader and former Deputy Prime Minister , the timer set for Christmas .
Yuletide was the jolly deadline by which Joyce said Turnbull should exit , cut the umbilical cord, if it was evident he could not lead a winning team to the political grand final . Looking on with a mouthful of fangs like a white pointer shark is the booted out former Liberal PM , trick cyclist Tony Abbott . The tall figure in the background, looking like a funeral insurance salesman , is Springboks footie fan ,the Honourable Minister for Home Cooking and MKR Affairs , Peter Dutton , who admits he would like to be cock of the walk .
The midget figure in the cartoon could represent any of the many lightweight members in the Coalition .
Turnbull was recently faced with a farmyard insurrection by a strange group , 20 strong ( in number only ) , in which leading gobblers were dubbed The Three As , promoting the spread and use of charcoal burners when roasting Christmas poultry and the planet .
Glad to be free from the heat of the Cabinet kitchen , perpetually smiling Turnbull rocketed overseas and left the Deputy PM, Fred What'shisname?, in charge of the nation . The average KFC punter was surprised to learn the acting PM is the new Nationals leader Michael McCormack , a former Wagga Wagga newspaper editor , who used to dress up like Elvis Presley in a white silk jump suit and black wig .
As a result of him being in charge of the ship of state, the nation was soon all shook up. Feisty Christian Treasurer Scott Morrison had to "slap down " McCormack / Elvis for saying the forthcoming budget would make the happy clapper "Santa Claus ". Santa will obviously not fill the stocking of a certain naughty boy at Wagga Wagga this Xmas.
At the rate the Coalition is simmering , heating up internally it will implode like the turkey carved by Chevy Chase in National Lampoon Christmas Vacation,the only part of the desiccated bird the unsightly parson's nose .
