Friday, June 2, 2017

NUCLEAR SUBMARINE SECRETS

Bad  news  for  Boofheaded ,  fat   dictator : the Charm Club  is fighting  fit  and has  you in  its  sights .

Following yet another  gaffe  by US  President  Donald Trump  in which he revealed  that  there  are  two nuclear  submarines  off   North Korea , comes  another   underwater  warfare   secret.

American  submariners  have  been using  an electronic exercise   machine to   keep trim . This  depth  charged   leak  was  contained  in  the  above    large  advertisement  for  the  Relax-A-cizor , used  aboard  atomic subs  Seawolf, Skate and  Nautilus .
 
It tells how the   medical officer of  Seawolf  got the idea  by  watching his wife using  such a gadget   to keep trim . If she   could trim her hips  and waist   by simulated exercise , why wouldn't it  work on the  crew ?
 
In the record smashing  voyage in which Seawolf  stayed submerged for two months , 13  crewmembers  ,  dubbed the   Charm Club , used the   device  30 minutes  a  day , six days  a  week .
 
During that time , a lot of water passed over the  conning tower   and  the Charm Club  lost an average of one and a half inches about the waist   , one  three and a  quarter inches . Fifty  percent (six  and a half !! )  were able to sleep easier  and all wanted  to   keep  the  machine  aboard ;  the  Skate  and Nautilus  followed suit  .
 
The gadget  could  be  ordered  in the USA, Caracas, Venezuela , Mexico City and Havana , Cuba (wonder if  the  Russians  bought them  down there  ? ). The   advertisement appeared in the  March 1959   Esquire  magazine   for   real  men , some short , who could  buy   height  increasing  shoes  called  Elevators  , apparently to impress  blondes  in   two  piece  swimming costumes  who  go  for  tall  men .   One would think  a bloke strutting  about the beach in high heels would  be  regarded   as  a  bit  of  a  dork  by  members of  the  opposite sex .