 |
| Jivey , pluckable replacement |
CANBERRA : The Liberal Party Funk Bunker and KFC franchise is plotting to parachute a dancing scrub turkey into the Queensland federal seat of Herbert to replace lame duck LNP incumbent,"I'm a fat man " Ewen Jones . The turkey has a long association with Townsville, is a graduate of James Cook University and has been thrown out of several Full Moon parties on Magnetic Island for dancing the wild Watusi on tables , spilling drinks and treading in the finger food, causing sensitive Irish backpackers to chunder and complain.
A Funk Bunker spin doctor this morning said the party recognises that drastic action has to be taken to keep the seat in conservative hands and that is why the fast footed , defrosted Number 10 turkey has received the nod .
There are reports that Ewen is shellshocked by the number of high calibre ALP members intending to line up for preselection in his electorate...Cathy O'Toole , Patricia Schluter , Mark Enders . On top of that , Field Marshal Senator Jacqui Lambie has expressed the desire to pot Ewen with a Gatling gun and turn him into a two-headed Tasmanian teddy bear for failing to come out against the Abbott Government's cutting of ADF pay and conditions .
The embattled pollie is shown at the top doing his imitation of a knock-kneed Patagonian Trotting Duck with a wonky wing and , below, the Dance of the Burdekin Sugar Plum Fairies.These astounding photographs appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald , taken in Canberra the morning of the spill against PM Abbott which saw vice-regal Tony goosed.
